When You're Gone
by cotecasasweatherly
Summary: Ziva and Tony struggle to overcome all the obstacles in life trying to keep them apart. Takes place after S10, just pretend Cote never left.
1. Chapter 1

**Starting this fanfic back up! I uploaded the last chapter on the morning of July 10****th**** and later that night is when Dooms Day happened so, I never went back to it because Cote de Pression. **

**Let me know what you think of all this and I'll definitely start writing more chapters again! **

**-Ash **

Numerous fashion magazines hit the coffee table as Ziva David slammed them down. She sighed to herself as she gently sat down on the couch and grabbed the remote. It had been four months since the team had gave their badges to Vance and Gibbs had became a runaway. She was bored. She didn't look for a job, mainly based on the fact that most of the jobs available were for fast food services and let's be honest, she was more than over qualified for that job. Flipping through the channels, she heard the door knob twist and someone walk into her apartment.

"Let's eat!" Tony Dinozzo hurriedly walked through Ziva's line of view at the TV and over to her kitchen with a bag of take out in his hand.

Ziva stood up and walked over to where Tony was, taking a seat across from where he pulled out a chair.

Tony tossed her a box of sesame chicken and some chopsticks, while opening his own box. He reached into the grab and grabbed an abundant of soy sauce packages.

"My god, how much soy sauce did you need?!" Ziva rolled her eyes at him. He was such a pig when it came to eating….actually, everything.

"It wasn't me Zee! The girl at the counter kept flirting with me and she threw all of these in. It's such a shame to be good looking cause now I've got a supply of soy sauce for life," he laughed and winked at her.

"Oh poor you, Dinozzo. All of these women practically dropping to their knees for you and you can't seem to find the perfect one," Ziva said with a bitchy tone as she began to eat her food.

Tony looked up at Ziva, a serious look coming over his face. He stared at her for a moment before saying anything, "Found the perfect one. She just doesn't feel the same way, or won't say it."

Ziva could feel the intense moment uprising and the feel of someone staring at her. She looked up as she took a bite of her food to find Tony staring at her. A concerned look on his face. Damn, she thought to herself, this woman must really be a totally idiot. "Well Tony, obviously she is completely clueless. Is she from here? Do I know her?"

Chuckling, Tony kept eating his food, "No, she isn't from here, but she calls this her home."

"Okay….so, kinda like me. Well, do I know her?" Ziva kept eating, not catching on at all.

"Yeah, you do." Tony hoped he wasn't being to blunt, but he didn't care that much either.

Ziva sat finishing her food while trying to think about who the woman could be. She wanted to try and help out Tony, even though she knew it might be hard for her. Tony was always the sweetest to her, she hated when he had girlfriends. It wasn't really that she was jealous, she just always wanted to be that woman that Tony spoiled. Because he did. He spoiled all of his girlfriend's rotten and none of them seemed to care. She cherished everything Tony did for her, even the sentimental moments like when he kissed her forehead and held her hand before their accident. There was something about his touch that drove her wild, but she knew he was only being her best friend. And she knew, for some reason he seemed hurt when he had found out that she had a moment of weakness and slept with Adam. She didn't know what had caused the hurt, but she figured only time would tell.

As they finished eating up, sitting in silence, Tony got up and threw their trash away. He headed over back to the couch and looked on the TV for a movie. Ziva walked over to the couch and sat next to him. She sat close enough for comfort and drew her knees up to her chest. Tony grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around both of their laps. He put his arm on the back of her couch, above her collarbone.

In the middle of the movie, Tony's phone rang. He quickly got up from the couch, wrapping the blanket around Ziva and went into the kitchen, answering.

"Tony, we have to meet Gibbs tonight at midnight. He called me from a payphone from the west side of the city. I'll pick you up at your apartment at eleven thirty, okay?" McGee's voice was in a low tone from the other side of the phone.

"Okay, well I'm at Ziva's place now. Why not just pick us up here?" Tony asked.

"No, Gibbs said not to bring her or mention this to her. I don't know why…" McGee answered.

"Well, what the hell am I supposed to tell her then?!" Tony yelled out and Ziva happened to look into the kitchen wondering who he was yelling at.

"Make something up! Tell her you have a date! I don't know!" McGee was confused as to why Tony was so worried about Ziva.

"Great one McSingle! I'm not telling her I'm going on a date! I'll figure something out, bye" Tony hung up the phone quickly and walked back into Ziva's living room. He sat back down on the couch and this time put his arm around her. As to his surprise, she didn't move from it or question him about it. She stayed perfectly content with his arm being around her. She looked at him suddenly.

"Who were you yelling at on the phone?" she questioned.

As the clock struck eleven, Tony unwrapped his arm from around Ziva and took the blanket off him. He stood up and headed for the door, Ziva following him.

"This is the earliest you've ever left. Someone must be getting old and tired," she giggled as she opened the door for him.

He casually stood in the doorway and smiled at her, nodding that she just used the perfect excuse for him to leave, "Just wait till you get old, ninja"

"Even when I'm old Tony, I can still kill you with paper clips," she smiled back at him. Tony laughed, leaning in and kissed her temple.

"Goodnight, Ziva" and with that he left heading back to his apartment.

At eleven thirty, McGee arrived on time and Tony got into the car. They drove to the West side of the city and met Gibbs at the proper meeting place like they were supposed to.

They walked down an alley way and headed into an abandoned building behind it. Using their flashlights from the job, they shined the light to find no one around in the house.

"Boss?" Tony whispered quietly. This place was definitely starting to freak him out, especially sense they had Parsons coming after all of them. He really hated that bastard.

McGee flashed his light into the corner of a staircase and found Gibbs sitting on the stairs.

"Way to completely freak us out Boss! You know, this reminds me of the horror flick with-" Tony's tangent was interrupted by Gibbs hands meeting his head. "Ohm how I've missed head slaps!" Tony smiled.

"Shut up already. Dinozzo!" Gibbs stated sternly.

"So, what's going on, why are we here?" McGee asked turning his flashlight off.

"You two ready to get back to work?" asked Gibbs.

"Hell yeah!" Tony chirped, receiving another headslap.

"I've got a plan to bring Parsons and his group of ass kissers down, off our backs."

"So, why isn't Ziva here with us to know about the plan?" Tony asked, confused as hell.

"Ziva will be our main key in the plan," Gibbs acknowledged "but, we can't let her know that."

Tony worried, what the hell was Ziva going to think of this? He knew she'd be pissed, but at least if was to make the team get back together so, they could all return to their jobs.

"Okay, so what are we going to do?" asked McGee.

An hour later, Tony and McGee left the building. As they walked down the alley way and back to McGee's car, Tony noticed two men leaning up against a building, watching them. He remembered seeing one of the men in car, back by Tony's apartment at a traffic light. Weird, Tony thought to himself, weird how they all ended up at the same side and part of the city. But, the thought didn't stay on his mind too long for that fact that he was worried about Ziva and how she would react to bringing Parsons down and jeopardizing her own career.


	2. Chapter 2

The next few days Tony had stayed with McGee to finalize their mission from Gibbs. They weren't sure how they'd approach Ziva about it and that was the complicated part they had been working on for the past 24 hours. After a few hours more of debatable situations, Tony decided he needed to go back to his own apartment and catch a few hours of sleep.

Tony arrived at his apartment, took a good look around at the numerous pizza boxes and beer bottles that still sat out and realized he didn't feel like picking anything up. He brushed his hand through his hair, feeling the greasy mess his hair had now become. Taking his belt off, Tony got undressed and headed to take a shower. As the water dripped down his masculine body, he closed his eyes and saw Ziva's face. He sighed to himself and lathered up soap to clean his body with. He hadn't seen Ziva in a few days, since he had been with McGee working on their mission to gain back the part of NCIS they had all missed. Maybe the reason he had felt so empty, was the lack of her in his life those past few days. Finishing up his shower, he got out and dried himself with a towel that smelled like it hadn't been washed in forever. _Damn_, he thought, _I really do need a woman around_. He went into his bedroom and threw a pair of boxers on quickly before crawling under the covers and resting his head on a pillow. Before he knew it, he had fallen into a deep slumber.

The next morning Tony woke up, feeling rested. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand next to him and sent a text…

**"Good morning Ziva David =] What are you doing?" **

Waiting for a reply, he got up and went to brush his teeth. He heard his phone vibrate as he applied deodorant and put a dark blue, flannel shirt on. Running over to his phone he read Ziva's text

"**Come Over"**

He replied "**Okay"**, quickly putting a pair of shorts on and fixing his hair, Tony tucked his phone in his pocket and looked around for his keys. Spying them on the ground, Tony flicked them up with a few of his fingers and jogged towards the door. He was excited to see her, even though it had only been a few days. Her presence always seemed to light up his life, not mention make him feel like a million dollars.

Ten minutes later, Tony found himself knocking on the oak door of Ziva's apartment. He could hear her footsteps walk towards the door and open it. He smiled at her as she opened the door and let him in. She was in her running gear and drenched in sweat. Tony couldn't lie to himself as she let him inside and closed the door behind her. He had definitely checked her out and the fact that she was so sweaty, turned him on.

"I went for a run, Tony" Ziva rolled her eyes as she caught him look up and down her body.

"I can see that Zee," he winked at her and continued to stare.

"You're such a horse!" she laughed.

"Pig, Ziva. You're such a pig!" Tony corrected her, chuckling at her idioms himself.

"Whatever!" she took her sneakers off, "okay, so I need your help!"

"With?" Tony asked looking around at how immaculate her apartment looked. _Wow, she needs to come help me with my place_, he thought to himself.

Ziva started walking to her bedroom, Tony following her. Upon entering her bedroom, Tony noticed a red, lace bra on the ground. He licked his lips at the sight and thought about how much he would've like to be the reason why it was on the ground. Feeling a hand smack the side of his head, he turned towards Ziva.

"Really, Tony? Act like you've never seen a bra before" she said in a sarcastic tone.

"It's not just any bra, sweet cheeks! It's yours" he winked at her, receiving an eye roll back. "Okay, so what'd you need help with?" he looked around her bedroom.

"This!" Ziva pointed towards a suitcase she had on the ground.

"It's a suitcase?" Tony asked confused at what she was getting at.

"Thank you, Tony!" a sarcastic smile covered her face, "but I need you to see if it's too heavy!"

"Too heavy? Why?" he was utterly confused as he picked up her suitcase, which weighed at least

fifty pounds.

"Airplanes only let you fly with a suitcase that only weighs so much, Tony! How does it feel?"

She watched as he dropped the suitcase.

"Airplane? What!? Where are you going?" he picked the suitcase back off his toes where

he had dropped it.

"Israel?" she questioned and wondered why he was getting so upset over the thought of her

leaving.

"Why? Yo-you can't! he shouted out.

Giving him a confused stare, Ziva replied "Yeah, I can! I miss the people there Tony! Schmeil!

He's been so lonely! It's not like I have a job anymore!"

"I know what this is about! I'm not stupid Ziva!" Tony's tone was now rising as the conversation

Continued.

"What?! Tony, I never said you were stupid?" Ziva was confused now. _Where the hell_ _was this_

_going?_

"You're not going back to Israel because of Schmeil! You're going back there because of your

little fuck buddy!" Tony was furious. The last thing that he ever wanted to happen was for Ziva

to leave, again. His mind kept going back to the events of Somalia and then to how much he wanted to make Adam pay. Yeah, he was hurt about the few words of Hebrew he had said Ziva that night at the airport and how she hadn't listened to him. Even more hurt at the fact that he thought they were getting to "that point" in their relationship and she had to go sleep with Adam. But, he was even more pissed that Adam had taken advantage of Ziva while she was weak and mourning the death of her father. Tony knew he should've protected her. Somewhere in that thick skull of his, he knew a guy would come along and take advantage of her. There was nothing he would be able to do about it.

"Excuse me?! Oh my god! We're back here? Again?" Ziva threw her hands in the air. Tony was never going to let her live down her moment of weakness.

Tony stepped back a bit, he knew he'd hit a sensitive spot not for just him, but her. When the news of her sleeping with Adam and their fight about happened, Tony hardly looked or even spoke to her. That killed her and he knew it. After all, they were best friends. "Okay, okay. Calm calm down." He stepped forward again and put his hands on her shoulders, "I didn't mean that okay?" He looked into to her soft, brown eyes "When do you leave?"

Ziva looked up and stared at him "Three days…"

Tony lowered his hands from his shoulder and put them back down at his side. Scared to admit he didn't want her to leave, he didn't know how to get the words out about anything to say. Dawning on their mission they had to complete for Gibbs, Tony knew he had to convince her to stay longer. The question however, was how the hell would he do that? He had to figure out a way to make her stay because he knew that Gibbs wouldn't push the mission quicker. Not to mention, he wanted to punch everything in sight knowing that Adam would see Ziva, again.

Ziva could tell that Tony's mind was working, super hard. He looked like he had been lost in a trail of thoughts when she interrupted him, "You can always call me, you know?" she smiled at him. But the thought of only hearing him over the phone bothered her, and she was clueless as to why.

"At least…" Tony didn't know what to say. _Call her? HA!_ _Ziva David you aren't staying there!_ "At least let me take you out to dinner before you go?" he questioned.

"Of course" she winked at him, letting him know that she was in a flirty mood.

"Great! Then… it's a date" he winked back. Ziva David was not about to play him when she just let it known that she'd be leaving to go back to Israel. Tony Dinozzo wasn't about to let that happen. "Alright, I'll get going then… I've got some errands to do" Tony started to make his way out of Ziva's bedroom.

"What should I wear for dinner?" Ziva asked as he walked past her bed.

Tony smirked and looked down onto the ground, picking up the lace, red bra from earlier "Definitely this!"

Ziva laughed and hit him, grabbing the item out of his hands. She watched him leave her bedroom and heard the door closed. She smiled to herself, in just the matter of a minute he could make her so mad, yet smile.

Tony made his way down to his red, Ford Mustang. Opening his car door, reaching to grab his phone in his pocket, he dialed McGee's number

"Probie! We've got a problem. Ziva's leaving… We need to get a hold of Gibbs."

The only reply Tony got was the voice of his Boss muttering "Shit."


	3. Chapter 3

Tony spent the next morning trying to figure out a way to make his Ziva stay. _His Ziva?_ He really had to stop pretending like she was his when she clearly was making her way back to Adam. He should've noticed the way Adam hugged her and nuzzled her neck in Berlin. The thought of how Adam hugged Ziva made his hand curl up into a fist. He was too blinded by the smell of her cocoa butter, bronze skin in Berlin to even think of her hooking up with another guy behind his back. Well, technically it wasn't behind his back, but he still felt like he had some ownership over her after whispering "at lo levad" to her. As far as he was concerned, he wouldn't speak or learn a different language for _just any woman_.

Ziva counted on Tony coming over the next morning and spending the whole day with her because she would be leaving. When she hadn't heard from him that morning, she'd come to the conclusion that he would be pushing her away because of this. That was exactly opposite what she wanted from him. Yeah, she could admit she pushed him away… lots, but that was a whole different story.

The afternoon seemed to pass and Ziva continued to pack her things up. She knew for a fact she didn't want to stay in Israel, she wanted to come back here, to her life. As much as she wanted to deny it, she loved it here in US. She made here her home, the people here were all there for her no matter what. That was different in Israel, everyone fended for themselves. She believed that the only reason she was going to Israel was to gain closure and go there one last time. Shutting away all of her memories away there after her father's death and moving on with the people she loved here in her new home. Tony didn't understand this. Adam had nothing to do with why she was going back, she couldn't have cared less to see him either. He was a one-time thing, or how Americans say "one nighter." She was weak, mourning and had a bit too much wine. All she needed was a comfort. A man's comfort because she was mourning the man who never gave her that benefit. In fact, the comfort she was craving was the one she received right before she left to Israel at the airport. That comfort, none other than Anthony Dinozzo's arms.

Spending the day mastering the plan with Gibbs and McGee was not the way Tony wanted to spend it. He would have rather spent time with that brunette, Israeli who would be leaving soon. Leaving was never good when it came with her, she was always gone longer than planned. Somalia was part of his worry too, the moment when he was told that his partner was dead was when he realized he never wanted to lose her again. Even when she left to bury her father, he still had that worry in his head of _what if_ _she didn't come back_, _again_. As he got into his red mustang, he felt his stomach grumble. Gibbs, McGee and him hadn't ate at all that day. He needed take-out, pronto. Tony grabbed his phone out of his pocket, dialing the number for take-out and ordering. As soon as he finished ordering, he dialed another number.

"Hello?"

"Good evening, Zee-vah. What did you eat for dinner tonight?" he chuckled at the sound of his butler impression.

Ziva looked around in her apartment, she hadn't ate anything. She was too busy packing what she needed to bring to Israel to remember anything to eat. She sighed, "Nothing. I forgot to. I have been packing all day."

"I'll be over with dinner in twenty." He sped off in his mustang to pick up the take-out.

"Okay, I'll be waiting." She smiled and hung up. She could always count on eating whenever he was around.

Twenty minutes later, right on time, Tony was knocking on her door. She hurriedly walked from her bedroom over to the door, opening it. He walked past her and set the take-out on her kitchen table. He looked back at her and felt his heart skip a beat. She had on a white tank top that fit her form perfectly and a pair of jean shorts, that weren't much longer than past her butt. Licking his lips, he checked her out from head to toe. The sight was definitely something he wanted to see some more.

"What?" she yelled at him because of his staring.

"Nothing! Let's eat baby!" he laughed and began to open up the boxes of take-out.

"Obviously, it was something if you just stared at me for twenty minutes!" she remarked as he helped her open a box up.

Tony laughed at how good she had become over the years at using sarcasm, "Your shorts are a little short! That's all!" he kept laughing as he took a bite of his food. Ziva nudged him, pushing him over a bit. It wasn't hard at all to tell that he had been checking her out, she wasn't that stupid like some of the bimbos he had been with over the past.

After Tony and Ziva had ate, they went over and sat on her couch. Doing his usual routine, Tony grabbed the remote and channel surfed. Ziva sat next to him, their legs touching. She flipped through a magazine.

She sighed, "I just wish we were at work. I've been so bored these past few months."

Tony put his arm around her, yet letting it rest on the couch too, "We'll be back at our desks soon, Zee. Don't worry," he smiled down at her.

"Yeah, but how do you know that Tony? We haven't heard from Gibbs at all!" her voice had an annoyed tone now.

Tony felt guilty at the fact she didn't know anything about their little plan to bring down Parsons, but it was for her safety. They knew she wanted revenge still, after her father's death. But she would be the key to their new plan unfolding, if she acted on a good note. Even though, he didn't know how she would react when the plan fell into action, he hoped it would only be a day or two that their plan undergoes and things would go back to normal. "Gibbs is a genius. He'll get us back there." He reassured her.

"I guess…" she sighed again and returned to flipping through her magazine. For a few more hours, they stayed in that position on the couch. Ziva put her magazine on the table and now was watching TV with Tony. They ended up watching a college football game, like usual. Tony was all about the sports and there weren't any movies on TV.

Around midnight, Tony decided it was time to go. He kissed Ziva's forehead good night and walked towards the door. Before he opened it, he turned around and looked at her. "Let me take out to dinner tomorrow night, before you leave."

"Sounds good" she smiled back at him, holding the door so it wouldn't close on him.

"I'll pick you up at six tomorrow night?"

"Okay. Should I dress up or...?" she paused.

"Yeah, dress up" he smiled at her and walked out the door. As Tony made his way to his mustang in the parking lot, he noticed a two men getting in a van next to his car at the same time. One of the men had a scruffy, long, gray beard while the other looked like he needed to lose a few pounds. He watched them as he walked towards his car door, they watched him back as they sat inside their rusted van. _They don't look like they belong here…_ he thought to himself. Although the man with the beard looked awfully familiar. He unlocked his car door and got in, locking it again. The two men continued to stare down at him. Tony shifted his car into reverse to back up, as they still watched him. Backing out of the parking lot, he watched in his review mirror as the van quickly backed up, following him out of the parking lot. He turned right on red at the light past Ziva's apartment complex and noticed they were still right on his tail. Deciding that he was the one driving a sports car and them a broken down van, he kicked his car into high gear and raced off down the street. Turning sharply left, and another left, he tried lose them. He waited looking back into his review mirror and noticed they hadn't kept up with him.

"That was fucking weird," Tony muttered to himself in the car. There was definitely something up two men following him around. He hadn't noticed anyone following him when he left the site where Gibbs was staking out. _They must be some of Parsons people_ he thought to himself. He stopped again at a four way stop, making sure no one was around him again. Proceeding through the stop sign, he drove back to his apartment. He had to get a full night of asleep ahead of him for next day which would include the new mission and getting one last shot at convincing Ziva to not stay in Israel.

Mission to take down Parsons causes more heartbreak than intended. Set after the 4 months of hiatus. Major Tiva smut. Rated M for later chapters.


	4. Chapter 4

Five o'clock the next night, Anthony Dinozzo looked at himself in the mirror. Rocking a new black tuxedo with a classy white tie, he smiled. He didn't know why he was acting like this was their first day, but technically it was. However, there was no "dating" going on in the picture though. Putting on his watch, he checked the time again to make sure he was right on schedule. He had to pick up some flowers before getting Ziva, a dozen roses should do the trick to please her. Tony quickly fixed his tie again before making his way out the door and picking up the flowers.

At about five minutes before six, Tony arrived at Ziva's apartment complex. Deciding to take the stairs up to her apartment, he headed up. He wanted to be right on time, not a few minutes early or late. When he reached her door, he knocked on it gently. He could feel himself tensing up and becoming nervous and he didn't know why. Ziva always had some type of effect on him.

Within a few seconds, Ziva opened the door leaving Tony Dinozzo's jaw to drop. She was dressed in a tight, white dress that had a slit up the leg giving a perfect angle for her long, tan legs. On her feet, she had black heels where her toes peeped out and revealed her red toe nail polish. Her brunette locks were curled perfectly and hung down onto her shoulders.

"Hello," she smiled widely at him she opened the door and saw the look on his face.

"Hellooooo is right!" he laughed, "Wow- Zee…. Y- you look stunning!" his smile was from ear to ear.

"Thank you Tony! You clean up well too," she winked at him before walking back into her apartment, grabbing her wallet. Ziva headed towards the door where Tony was still standing.

"Oh!" Tony exclaimed, realizing he still had one hand behind his back hiding the roses, he brought them forward. "These are for you!"

Ziva grabbed the roses from him, smelling them and smiled "Aw, thank very much Tony," she blushed "Do I have time to get a vase for them before we go?"

Tony nodded and Ziva hurriedly went and found a vase in her apartment. She put some water and the roses into the vase and set it in the middle of her kitchen table. Smiling, she ran back over to the door and left with Tony. Throughout the car ride to the restaurant, they sang along to the radio. When they arrived at the restaurant, Tony quickly got out of the car and ran over to Ziva's side of the car. He opened the car door slowly for her and lent his hand to help her out. After shutting her door Tony and Ziva linked arms, walking into the restaurant. They got to their reserved seat, sat down and looked at their menus. Tony ordered a bottle of wine for the two of them to split.

"Wow, Tony. This place is very elegant!" she laughed.

"Would you expect anything less of me Ms. David?" he smiled back.

"Never!" she continued looking onto the menu.

A few minutes later a waiter came over and took their orders. While waiting for their food they made small talk and reminisced on old memories working with their team.

"I've gotta say, the best feeling in the world was bringing you home from Somalia," Tony said with a smile as he looked into her eyes across the table. His hands rested on hers in the middle of the table.

Ziva smiled shyly at him, "The best for me…" she began to choke at remembering the moment and felt tears welt up in her eyes, "when the covering over my head was taken off and the first thing I saw was you. That would make you my prince in shining armor" she giggled trying to make the moment happier.

"Knight, knight in shining armor." Tony laughed "Ziva David I'll come anywhere and anytime for you" he grabbed her hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing it tenderly. Ziva felt her heart flutter at the contact and watched as he laid their hands back down on the table.

Shortly after their food came and Tony made a few jokes, as usual while they were eating.

"This pasta is delicious Zee! You have to try it!" Tony held out his fork to her with some pasta.

"Okay..." Ziva went to grab the fork from him, when he moved it away. "Tony! What? Do you want to feed me?" she asked sarcastically.

"Yeah!" He held the fork back out. Ziva couldn't believe how unbelievably cheesy this was, she was perfectly fine feeding herself. She moved her mouth to the fork and took a slow bite from Tony's fork as they connected eyes. When Ziva was done taking in all of the food on his fork, she began to chew and kept eye contact with Tony. _He's watching me so continently._

As they ate, Tony tried to keep his mind off her leaving and the only thing he could think of doing was to keep telling jokes. He loved to hear her laugh, so it kept everything off his mind even when half the time she didn't understand his jokes. A few times, Ziva's legs rubbed up against him underneath the table which made his skin shiver at the feel of her bare legs touching him.

After they were done eating, the waitress came and picked up their plates. They sat in silence, staring at each other with a loving glance. Ziva sipped her wine and giggled as he watched her lick the slide of the glass. _God, she turns me on so badly_ he thought to himself.

Tony looked away to keep from getting himself hot and bothered. But, what he saw startled him. He looked down a few tables and noticed the two men he had saw the other day at Ziva's apartment in the van. He stared at them intently, they were definitely following him. He just wanted to get himself and Ziva out of this place with them not noticing. His thoughts were suddenly interrupted when a waiter brought two candles, lit over to the table and set them down infront of him and Ziva. He shared a confused glance with Ziva when suddenly a huge cake was placed on their table and a bunch of other waiters and waitresses joined.

One of the waitresses began to yell, "Can we have your attention?!" The whole place went quiet while Tony and Ziva sat there, wondering what the hell was happening. "We would like to wish these two congratulations on their engagement!" Everyone began to clap. Ziva and Tony's eyes became large as Tony tried to stop the waitress. "We would like to wish you a lifetime of happiness and-" she looked down at Tony.

"We-we aren't engaged…" he looked back at her.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" the waitress told everyone in the restaurant the show as over and told the other waiters to get the cake. "We were told that a newly engaged couple would be celebrating here tonight, but we never got a name! We just looked around for the couple who looked in love…and we saw you two the whole night,"

Tony and Ziva quickly glanced at each other awkwardly.

"I'm so sorry! I have to go find the couple who is engaged" she laughed and walked away. Tony and Ziva stayed staring at each other.

Deciding to make light of the moment, Tony laughed "Damn, that cake looked good. I shouldn't have said anything." Ziva giggled at his remark.

Their original waitress came over and gave them the bill. Ziva got out her wallet and Tony gave her a weird look. "Seriously Ziva, you don't need to bring money when you're with me"

"Yeah, but-" Ziva tried to protest.

"No buts!" He gave the waitress the money and bill. "Come on, let's go out and walk by the water" he smiled and Ziva followed him out of the restaurant.

They walked along the canal way slowly, as a breeze began to blow in the air. As they strolled along, in silence, they watched the boat lights on the water.

Breaking the silence, Ziva spoke, "Thank you for taking me out tonight" she looked down as she walked.

"Of course. I'm glad we did this, before…you, you know" he didn't want to say the words. Their hands brushed against each other twice and finally Tony got the courage to grab her hand as they walked. Ziva didn't pull away, instead she intertwined her fingers with his exactly like they did in the car the night on the way home from Berlin.

"I know. I thought for sure the other day after I told you I was leaving, you would push me away." She sighed as they walked along hand in hand.

"Push you away? Never. " He laughed and held onto her hand tighter.

"Tony, you know we push each other away." She looked over to him. They started to approach a bridge over the water and the breeze began to pick up. Ziva felt goose bumps form on her body from the chilling breeze. She took his hand in hers and picked it up over her head so his hand was wrapped around her shoulders and let go of his hand. His hand draped over her shoulders and held her tightly. He smirked at how sneaky she was at making a move.

"I don't mean to push you away, Zee-vah. You on the other hand, love to push me away." They approached the bridge and Ziva stopped walking in her tracks, looking out over the water. She looked up at Tony and the lights from the boats shined on her face.

"I only push you away because I need you to pull me closer," she stared at him. She was being vulnerable in this moment and she didn't care.

Tony stared at her for a moment, taking in what she had just said. The words floated through his head, _she need him_. He lowered his hand down to her hip from her shoulder and used his other hand to grab the other side of her hip. Pulling her closer to him so, their bodies were now pressed up against each other. "Close enough?" he smirked looking down at her.

Ziva smiled up at him. She was now realizing how close it was for her time to leave.

"Stay." Tony pleaded while he held onto her hips tighter and pushed her into him. He didn't want to let her go in this perfect moment. He didn't want to let her go ever.

"I won't be there for long, Tony. I just need some closure." She knew he was having a hard time with this.

_Closure?_ _Closure_ _from Adam, bastard._ He thought to himself. "You always say you won't be there for long" he looked away from her stare.

"I'll be back, Tony. I promise." She said at just a whisper while her hands wrapped around his neck.

And that's when Tony took a chance and never looked back. He whispered, "I love you" and leaned towards Ziva, His moist lips gently touched hers and he kissed her with everything he had in him. To his surprise, she didn't pull away. She only kissed back, harder and trying to deepen it. This was the passion they had missed out on all of these years. As they stood on the bridge, in the glow of the moonlight and boats, they fought for dominance of the kiss. Their tongues collided and Ziva felt his hands in her hair. But she was frightened when she felt Tony's lips and hands in her hair stop moving. She opened her eyes to find Tony dropping to the ground. Two men were running away from the scene where they had been standing. She got down next to Tony, yelling his name. He was still breathing and looking up at her. On the ground she noticed a puddle of blood begin to form. Looking on Tony, she saw knife sticking out of his side.

"Tony! Stay with me!" she held onto his hand as she grabbed her phone trying to dial. "SOMEONE CALL 911!" she shouted at people she saw walking along the canal in front of where they were standing. She dialed Gibbs and told him to come. Tony's breathing was starting to become more rapid.

"Zi…Ziva.." he coughed out. "Don't worry about me," he kept staring at her. Even in his worst moment, he couldn't deny how unbelievably beautiful she was.

She rolled her eyes, he always put everyone in front of his own health. "Stop. I'm going to worry about you." She kneeled over him and worried about the wound in his side.

"Bye, Ziva." He choked out as he felt the pain in his side worsen.

"What? Tony? There is no goodbye right now. Don't fucking do that to me!" she shouted out at him. He always knew how to piss her off.

"Yeah, Ziva there-there is" he shrieked from the pain that his side was causing him. "Go to Israel…. Be with him"

"What the hell are you talking about Tony?" now she was getting furious and she tried to pull the knife out of his side while holding onto his hand still.

"Adam. You love him, go be with him." He couldn't hardly breathe and he barely choked out the words. Ziva began to cry.

"Tony, I don't love him. He was a mistake." She stopped pulling at the knife and felt herself collapsing on him, crying. "I love you."

Tony smiled back up at her with the only energy he had left. Ziva leaned down and planted a kiss on his lips. He could taste the salt of her tears as they poured down her face. The sounds of the sirens echoed in the background and Ziva laid crying on Tony as he barely could bring himself to breathe. Ziva felt someone pull her off him and turned around to find Gibbs. Gibbs held onto her as paramedics grabbed onto Tony and got him onto a stretcher. McGee came over and Gibbs agreed with him to go look at the security tapes in the restaurant to see who the two men were.

Gibbs silently drove to the hospital as she cried, helplessly. As they reached the hospital, Tony was put immediately into surgery. McGee eventually showed up, along with Abby and Ducky who sat in the waiting room with Ziva and Gibbs. Ziva sat in the chair, crying and feeling sick.

A few minutes later, Gibbs walked away. When he returned, he was with a doctor. Ziva stood up and walked towards them. "So?" she questioned looking at Gibbs.

Gibbs felt his heart drop, as he stared at the once so strong Israeli in front of him. He shook his head when he heard a shriek and felt a body drop to the ground. Ziva felt to the ground, violently crying on her knees. "I love him. I love him" she kept repeating.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author Note: **Okay, some of you are concerned about the rating for this. I rated this story M because that's the highest here on Fanfiction and it covers all the basis of this story that I need it to. For right now, it may seem confusing, but that's the way it needs to be so you don't know all the secrets to my story ;) Thanks for all the dedicated readers and reviews! Enjoy!

A steady stream of salty tears flowed onto the ground as the beautiful, Israeli goddess head hit the ground. Nothing more was said as they heard her painful cries echo through the waiting room and through the hospital walls. Sobs were soon heard from Abby who came running over and dropped to the ground beside Ziva. She wrapped her arms around Ziva's back and tried to help her up a bit. McGee gave Gibbs a frightened look as both of their girls lay on the ground with an uncontrollable river of tears forming on the ground.

Within a few minutes, Ziva didn't have any tears left in her. She felt the courage to fight now. Standing up with the help of Abby, she began to walk towards the Emergency Room. Gibbs reached out quickly and grabbed her arm, pulling her back, "Where do you think you're going?"

"I need to see him!" she violently spat back at Gibbs.

"You can't Ziva. They're not letting any of us see his body," he looked down to the ground. He knew he was going to hit a nerve again.

"I can't see him?!" Ziva yelled out. Nurses turned around from all over staring at the woman who was getting upset again. "I'll be damned if I don't see him." She unhooked herself from Gibbs and made a run for the room where she last saw Tony's body go into.

"MCGEE!" Gibbs called out as he ran after Ziva, grabbing onto her as she fought him. McGee got up quickly and ran behind him. They both stood holding Ziva back as she desperately tried to fight them off. Abby stood crying in the background as she watched her family frantically fall apart.

"I NEED TO SEE HIM!" Ziva was panicking while she fought to get out of Gibbs and McGee's grip. This only made Gibbs grip onto her tighter which was ultimately hurting her in the end.

She finally gave up when her wrists started to hurt from Gibbs hands on her own. Reality was finally setting in again and she realized this wasn't a dream. Tears formed in those brown eyes again as she looked at Gibbs who caught her this time then allowing her to drop on the floor again.

"My best friend's dead…" the waterworks started again. Somehow when she said this, everyone in the room knew he was more than a best friend. She couldn't lie to herself either. Yeah, Anthony Dinozzo was her best friend, but he was also the love of her life. _Her "Prince" in shining armor _she smiled to herself through the tears. There would be no one to correct her now. The thought of this made her cry more. She wasn't going to make it through this. It was too painful. Gibbs held onto her as she cried into his chest. She backed away a few minutes later, she needed to get out of this place. "I'm sorry, I need to go" she started to walk away.

"Ziver…." Gibbs called out to her as she kept walking, realizing she needed to call a cab because she rode with Tony to the restaurant. "We can't leave you alone like this."

"I'm fine, Gibbs. I've been through this enough" she looked back at him and kept walking.

"Too much," he stuttered under his breath.

McGee got up as Abby followed Ziva to make sure she was leaving okay. They all knew she needed to be alone, that's how she healed. McGee looked up at Gibbs with an expression that Gibbs had never seen on his face before. "What do we do about all of this now, boss?" he questioned while stroking his hand through his hair.

"Two man mission now McGee" Gibbs sternly replied.

"Yeah, but Boss, I'm worried." Mcgee sighed heavily.

"Not any more than I am, McGee." And with that Gibbs walked away and headed towards the Emergency Room, pushing his way through some of the Doctors. No one was going to stop Gibbs because after all, he was Lethro Jethro Gibbs.

Abby watched through the doors of the hospital as Ziva climbed into a cab. She could see Ziva mouth her address to him and shortly after, her face fell into her hands. The worry she felt for Ziva was overwhelming. It didn't matter if people really believed that Ziva was crying for her best friend. Abby knew better than that. She knew the connection Ziva and Tony shared was more than friendship and nothing could ever account for the missing piece of Ziva's heart that now existed and damn, it was a huge part missing. When Ziva had first come to NCIS, she was almost robotic. She was a robot made by her father in order to complete missions and kill for a living. But somewhere along the way, Ziva became one of them and something more. She was the one woman who constantly got under Tony's nerves more than he got under everyone else's. Yet, she was the one woman who gave Tony a run for his money. All of the woman that Abby had seen who came around Tony would twirl their hair around and act all stupid…or they really were stupid. Tony seemed to know what he was doing with them and was always one step ahead of them just to get them into bed. Except for when Ziva came along. She was a step ahead of Tony and he lost his mind around her, considering she was the only one who didn't drop to her knees over his charm. Abby and the team watched over the years as the casual flirting grew to a steamy angst for one another and the sweltering jealousy that came along when each of them started to date someone else. Abby was too busy reminiscing on the past that she didn't hear McGee come up behind her and slowly wrap his arms around her. Her soft sobs were held in until she felt his touch and let them out. The cab that held Ziva inside had already taken off down the road.

**Warning. The next part of this chapter is where the M rating starts again. If you aren't comfortable reading it, skip to the next chapter where it will be back to normal because you won't have missed anything except for Ziva dealing with her emotions. & absolutely in no way do I want anyone to do this or be influenced to do this. There is always a better solution, as you will see as the story continues. I'm trying this writing out for my story and my story only. Please do not take this literally and think that it is okay to do… seek help if you need to. I've had friends seek help for the problem and become healthy. Again, this is only a part of the plot line and if you need to skip it you may. Just a test to see if I can write this way **

Ziva paid the cab driver and stepped out of the car at her apartment complex. She heard the tires of the car screech away and leave. The rumble of thunder and crack of lightning hovered over her head. Not even bothering to move faster towards the door to get into her complex, Ziva looked around while the rain poured down onto her face. She looked down the parking lot to see a van parked sideways. Two men were inside the car staring at her. Feeling on edge, she stared back at them wondering why the hell they were looking at her. Then it clicked. Perhaps it was because she was standing in the middle of a thunderstorm, soaked and not moving. For all she cared at this point, she could be hit by lightning and wouldn't feel a thing. She'd never feel anything again, anyways. Shaking her head at the two men and deciding to get out of the rain and take a hot bath, she walked into her apartment building and rode the elevator up to her floor. She opened the door to her apartment and flicked on the light switch. Nothing. _Damn it! _She cursed to herself when she realized the power had gone out. Using her phone as a flashlight, she walked through her apartment and into her kitchen. Ziva grabbed two candles from her cabinet and a lighter. She walked towards her bathroom and set the candles down beside the bathtub. She stripped down her clothes and set them in her bedroom when her phone flashed upon a picture of her and Tony beside her bed. The picture was of them hugging, close together during their Christmas Party this year. She touched the frame and traced her finger over the outline of Tony's face. She was living in her own personal nightmare. The tears started to form again in her large brown eyes the longer she stared at the picture. Losing her father had been enough, even though he put her through hell and back. But this was different. Tony meant so much more than anyone to her. He was the reason she was human… the reason she felt so alive when she had felt like a dead zombie for so many years of her life being nothing more than a controlled, robotic killer. He proved to her that she was alive and the rush she got from being with him, proved that she was. Tony made Ziva real. He made her everything because he was her _everything_.

The tears once again streamed down her face and this time they stung. They stung for everything her life was worth, which was now nothing. She went back into the bathroom and filled up the bathtub with hot water. She lit the candles next to the tub as she wait for the tub to fill and when it was complete, she slowly sat down inside. The candles flickered to the beat of the thunder and breaking of Ziva's heart. Ziva rested her head back on the tub and closed her eyes. She wanted this moment to be different. She wanted nothing more than for Tony to walk into the bathroom, naked with his shaped figure hovering over her and joining her in the water. He'd wrap his arms around her waist as she'd lean her head back onto his pecs and he'd kiss her cheek while the warm water surrounded them both. But this wasn't the case at all. She was laying in her bathtub, crying in the dark while he lay dead in a hospital morgue. She couldn't deal with this emptiness. Sitting up slowly, she grabbed the razor from next to her. The lightning cracked down and the ground began to rumble. Ziva took the razor, the tears still falling and put it to her wrist. She stared at what she was doing at the moment. She knew it wasn't right. She had enough scars on her from Somalia. Scars that she would never get to show Tony and she'd never feel his light touch caress each one of them. Thunder rumbled once again and she knew lightning would crack again in a few seconds. She took the razor and scraped it across the already jagged skin of her wrist when the lightning struck the ground, covering sound of her scream. Blood dripped down into the water as her hand shook violently from seeing all of the blood. She repeated the cut on her other wrist, setting the razor back down and felt dizziness overtake her head. She felt cuts sting as she placed her hands back in the water and winced at the pain. Nothing could ever take away the pain though of what she felt knowing that she'd never see that Italian, charming man again. The one who saved her in Somalia when all she wanted to do was die. Pretty ironic in this moment, he was the one dead and she still wanted to die. She lay her head back on the tub once again, she was about to pass out. For all she cared, she could drown. She needed to be with him and even if it meant in heaven. That was, unless her previous life before NCIS dragged her to hell.

Mission to take down Parsons causes more heartbreak than intended. Set after the 4 months of hiatus. Major Tiva smut. Rated M for later chapters.


	6. Chapter 6

"_What are you doing here?"_

"_Couldn't live without you, I guess." _

Water flew around the room as Ziva jumped, awakening the next morning inside her bathtub. She look around, realizing what had happened and she was just dreaming. She wasn't in Somalia anymore, Tony and the team had rescued her. She smiled as she went to stand up, but the suddenly looked down at the water beneath her. Red. The water was mostly red. That was when she remembered that this wasn't any ordinary day where she would get up and go to work, no because work did not exist anymore and neither did Tony. Her wrists stung as she moved her hands to grab her towel. _Shit these sting_ she whispered as felt the now, dry cuts along her wrists. Carefully getting out of the tub, Ziva drained the water and wrapped her towel around her tightly. She collected the candles from the side of the tub, thankfully they went out on their own last night and she wasn't foolishly to blame for the whole apartment building burning down. Her reflection in the mirror showed that she had bags under eyes and looked like a complete mess. Her hair was tangled from not being dried properly and she had a few breakouts that developed from the stress on her face.

When Ziva entered her bedroom, her eyes lingered towards the picture by her bed again. She tried not to stare, but that only made it worse. She roamed around her room and looked for something to wear that wouldn't remind her of him. Every outfit she had, somehow connected to him. No matter what she wore, he always had a comment about it and how it looked on her. However, it was never a negative comment. That's one thing she loved about him. No matter how terrible she looked during a bad hair day, he still thought she was beautiful. He clearly assumed the only reason she had messy hair was because from rough sex with her date the night before. But, they both knew better then to think she had a date.

Ziva finally decided put on a button up shirt and a pair of khakis, which barely resembled a memory of Tony. She tried fixing her brunette locks in the mirror, but realized it would be one of those days. She took a hair tie and put her hair up into a loose bun. When she did this, she couldn't help, but stare at herself in the mirror. She was empty. Ready to go, she walked past the side of her bed, eyeing the picture again. This time, she grabbed the picture and threw it at the wall. As she kept walking, she heard the glass break as it hit the concrete wall and fall to the ground. The shattering of the glass resembled her life in a way that made her cry once again. Good thing, she hadn't put any make up on.

Ziva drove fearlessly to the hospital. She was going into that morgue, whether or not anyone tried to stop her. Gibbs should've known better than hold her back last night. He should know that nothing would stop her eventually and she'd get to Tony's body. She was almost to the hospital when she turned the radio on, thinking it would clear her head.

"A former NCIS Agent was stabbed last night when out to dinner with his girlfriend. Police have connected the stabbing to a man named Parsons. Parsons was last known as the reason why an NCIS team quit after he'd trace multiple crimes done by their team leader."

Ziva slammed on her brakes. _Son of a bitch… _She kept reiterating what Parsons looked like in her head. She still had yet to get revenge on her father's killer, but this was important now. This meant war. Tears began to flood from her eyes, again as she replayed what the man on the radio had stated. _Girlfriend…whoever wrote the report included me as Tony's girlfriend._ She heard numerous beeps come from behind her and realized she was stopped in the middle of the road and continued on her journey to the hospital.

She parked her car in the emergency room parking lot and started to head into the hospital, hoping that none of her team would be there. Well, old team. Getting out of her car, she walked rapidly towards the door when she saw the two men from the van from the corner of her eye. She turned to look at them and they just stood watching her. _What the hell?_ She thought to herself and then hoped that Gibbs would be inside to question these two guys.

When she walked inside, she looked around to see if she saw anyone. No one. She smirked to herself and walked throughout the hospital, looking for signs of where the morgue was. When she turned down one hallway she saw a familiar face and tried to turn around quickly to get away before being questioned.

"Saw you, Ziva." She heard her Boss say from down the hall. She stepped back out from hiding behind the wall knowing he'd catch up to her eventually. He spoke again, "what are you doing here?"

She sighed, "Gibbs, you know I have to see his body."

"No, you can't Ziva." He replied harshly.

"I can't? Really? Do you think that's going to stop me from doing something, Gibbs?" she had a sarcastic hint to her voice which made Gibbs laugh inside his head. She had really become Americanized.

"Ziva…." His voice cracked a bit "We buried him last night."

Now beginning to think this was a practical joke, Ziva laughed "Please, do not play that sick joke on me. None of you would dare to think of burying him without me there." She walked away leaving Gibbs standing there, not knowing how else to explain to her what was happening. She hopped into an elevator where a doctor was standing and rode down to the second basement floor with him. Nodding and smiling to him as they both exited the elevator, she turned left when he went right. She kept walking and found herself staring at the morgue before her. She slowly crept into the morgue, looking around to make sure there weren't any doctors or nurses around to bitch at her and tell her she wasn't allowed in there. Seeing that the place was clear, she looked around for Tony's name along the wall where his body would be kept, like in Ducky's.

Ziva made her way around the whole room looking for Tony's name and it wasn't anywhere. _You've got to be fucking kidding me,_ she decided to make another trip around the room thinking she missed his name. She really needed to clear her head. But after she made it around the room again without finding his name, she began to crumble and curse in Hebrew. _They wouldn't bury him without me… Gibbs would never. Not even Abby! She knows how much he meant to. This has to be a fucking joke. McGee wouldn't even let this happen! _Her breathing quickened as she stood in the middle of the morgue, stunned. Her family wouldn't betray her like this, would they? Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a man's voice from behind her.

"Trying to find your little boyfriend?"

She turned around and was face to face with one of the men from the van.

"Who are you?" she stared directly at him.

"An old pal of your boyfriends. He seemed to forget about us once he came here to DC and found himself a sex kitten like you!" The man reached out and slowly touched Ziva's face with his fingertips.

Ziva pulled away in disgust as the other man stepped out behind the one in front of her. She now realized who these two men were. "You….you two!" she spat out, "You're the bastards who killed him!"

The man behind from behind chuckled, "Douche deserved it. He thought he could run from the case he screwed up forever ago,"

"Case?" Ziva questioned feeling the anger build up inside of her over the sadness.

"Yeah, the case he fucked up on when he was with the LPD. He charged us with drug smuggling and we landed behind bars for ten years. Then he ran away and became a hot shot here. He thought he'd never see us again. Don't worry though, Honey. He saw us coming when we followed him to your apartment and out to dinner. He looked right at us and thought we wouldn't see you two sneak out by the water."

Ziva scoffed, "You two are obviously not too bright. Killing an NCIS Agent while he's kissing a trained Mossad Agent… someone didn't think that over too well," she smirked devilishly.

Both of the guys laughed, "Who the hells the terrorist, bitch?"

Ziva felt the fire fill in her chocolate brown eyes. She was going to get revenge and she didn't care that it was right here in the middle of the hospital. You don't kill the love of her life and expect nothing back in return. The two men in the room obviously weren't too smart in the first place, it wouldn't take just anyone to realize that this Israeli woman with them wasn't in the right state of mind after losing her love. Ziva slowly reached behind her, still smirking at the men. She grabbed her gun and held it right to the guy's head in front of her.

"Woah! Woaaaah!" the guy behind him stammered back.

Ziva smirked at how they wriggled, scared. "Sorry, I didn't introduce myself before. Ziva David, Mossad Agent. Daughter of Eli David, Mossad Director," she smirked even wider as she saw both of the guys nearly collapse.

"Listen, honey! Everyone just needs to calm down right now!" the man with Ziva's gun to his head yelled out.

"Oh, do not worry. There will be no calming down now that I know who killed Tony," she moved the gun to the man's forehead and began yelling in Hebrew. The two men shared confused looks while she looked and sounded insane to them. She chuckled again, keeping an eye on both men. "You do know how much fun this will be? I get to go back to my roots and kill people who get in my way,"

"Okay can we just-?" the man choked

"Nope," Ziva smiled and a shot rang out. The man dropped down in front of her, lifeless. "Your turn!" she walked towards the other man.

"No, no, no!" he kept repeating, "I-I I didn't want to kill him! We were smuggling drugs! He- he wasn't wrong! He was just doing his job!" the man froze as Ziva raised the gun.

"And now I'm doing my job." She pointed the gun to his head and fired another shot.

She looked around the morgue and to the two lifeless men in front of her. She heard the elevator down the all ding and ran for the stairs. She had to escape and make it back to her apartment. She'd finally got revenge, but she didn't want to get the repercussions for it. She did this for Tony's justice.

Ziva bolted up the stairs, skipping one stair each time. As she made her way up the floors, she realized she was on the floor where her car was apart and ran to get there before someone caught her.

Gibbs was pacing around the waiting room when he saw a few nurses start running. "Everything okay?" he questioned looking at them weirdly.

"Two men were shot down in the morgue!" the one nurse cried out as she ran with a stretcher towards the elevator.

_FUCK! _Gibbs murmured under his breath and grabbed his phone fumbling to dial.

Mission to take down Parsons causes more heartbreak than intended. Set after the 4 months of hiatus. Major Tiva smut. Rated M for later chapters.


	7. Chapter 7

Ziva flew into her apartment. She grabbed a piece of note paper from her kitchen and started writing a note. She was in deep shit now and she knew it. As she started to write, she paused as soon as the ink glided onto the paper spelling out _Tony._ His name echoed throughout her heart as she realized she had never found his name in the hospital morgue. They really did bury him then, didn't they? A few tears slipped out of her eyes as she kept writing. The betrayal from her team and especially Gibbs overcame her. How could they ever bury Tony without her there? Didn't they ever realize what really went on behind Tony and Ziva's casual eye sex?

When she finished the note, the she set it down on her table knowing Gibbs and McGee would probably show up at her apartment soon. She ran into her room, grabbing her suitcase and filling it with a few items. Quickly, she entered the bathroom and grabbed her makeup, throwing it into her suitcase. She walked back into the bedroom and felt a searing pain go through her foot. Looking down, a pile of blood started to form on the ground below her foot where the pain was coming from. Beside her foot laid the broken glass and picture of her ad Tony, shattered. Ziva cringed at the feeling of glass now lodged in her foot. She slowly slid down to the floor, and brought her foot up to a visible view. A piece of glass was now stuck into her foot and blood was spilling out profusely. She tried to remove the glass, but the pain was too much. Deciding she needed to get moving, she pulled the glass out quickly, crying out in pain. She held her foot and stood up slowly, hopping on foot to the bathroom. Inside the bathroom, Ziva found a piece of cloth and wrapped it carefully around her foot to stop the bleeding. She wrapped it tightly enough so it wouldn't unravel as soon as she put her shoes on.

Ziva walked towards her door and turned around. She took one last look at her apartment and the note on the table. This would be the last time she'd be there. Taking a deep breath, she turned back around and headed out the door with the suitcase not far behind her.

Gibbs ran out of the hospital doors as to his car when he felt his phone vibrating again. Answering it and looking around for any sight of Ziva, he sighed to himself.

"Leroy, I have some good news." Vance's voice pierced through the phone loudly.

"This better be good, Vance. I'm in the middle of something." Gibbs put his car keys into the ignition and turned them, hearing the purr of his engine.

"Parsons and his men were arrested and charged last night with the stabbing of Agent Dinozzo. The judge also found him guilty of slander and lying to the legal system about fake crimes that you and the team had done. It's all done, Leroy. You can all come back to work,"

"I'm afraid that isn't going to be possible, Vance." Gibbs was interrupted.

"Look, I know Dinozzo-" Gibbs decided to interrupt him back.

"I need my full team, Vance. Can't do it down one person." And with that Gibbs hung up and backed his car out, speeding down the road towards his destination.

When Gibbs had arrived, he saw McGee get out of his car and meet him walking into Ziva's apartment complex.

"Her car is here Boss," McGee pointed "She's got to be inside"

McGee and Gibbs took the elevator up to Ziva's apartment and knocked on the door. No answer. So, they decided knock a few more times and comprehended that she was clearly not going to cooperate with them. Gibbs slowly reached for his gun and backed up. Running towards the door, his body hit the wood and crashed it open. He held his gun up and looked around, McGee right behind him, mimicking the same stance.

"Ziver?" Gibbs yelled out. He knew he had to keep calm because she was in no condition to be arguing with. She was evidently in the wrong state of mind after the past few days.

McGee and Gibbs walked around her apartment slowly, making sure she hadn't hurt herself in the scheme of things. McGee entered her bedroom and noticed the picture frame of Ziva and Tony broken, smashed on the ground. He bent down next to it seeing the blood stain on the carpet.

"Gibbs, here's a blood stain on the carpet. Looks like she broke a picture of her and Tony and ended up stepping on the glass" he examined the ground.

Gibbs looked around her living room and made his way into the kitchen. Gibbs was looking around so intensely, he didn't even notice the visitor who had walked in that McGee had called.

As Gibbs made his way around Ziva's kitchen, he finally observed the note on the table and grabbed it, reading it aloud.

_To my family, _

_I know you would all eventually come looking for me. I'm very grateful to have worked with such intelligent investigators. But the time has come. I must go. I can not be here anymore without Tony. He's my everything and I can not fathom why you all buried his body behind my back. However, his justice has been made and I'm not ashamed. I will be leaving to go to the place where Tony and I first fell in love, but couldn't admit it. There, I will say goodbye and join Tony in our new home together, heaven._

_Shalom,_

_Ziva David_

Gibbs felt a tear trickle down his cheek as he read the end. McGee had walked out of her bedroom slowly and felt a wave of grief surround him. "Boss, do you really think she's going to?" he questioned with a serious tone.

Gibbs looked up at him, the tear noticeable "She's spiraling out of control now McGee."

McGee grabbed the note, looking at it for himself "We have to catch her Boss, I noticed a few things she had taken with her from her bedroom,"

"Damn right, McGee. But, there's only one person that knows where she went."

The familiar voice and visitor who had snuck in spoke up as he walked out of Ziva's bedroom, "She took her favorite sweatshirt with her…"


	8. Chapter 8

"She took her favorite sweatshirt with her…" Dorneget looked at Gibbs.

Gibbs stared at him in disbelief, "How do you know what her favorite sweatshirt was?"

"When Tony and I went on vacation, he was talking about how Ziva had snatched his Ohio State sweatshirt and that it was her favorite. I looked in her closet, wasn't there." He replied.

"She's taken something that reminds her of him with her." Gibbs nodded to his theory, "We need to end this mission before she ends her life and while she's in the middle of a man hunt for murder." He folded up the note, tucking safely into his pocket and headed for the doorway. "Let's go." Gibbs followed by the two men walked out of the door, making sure to put the door back in the doorframe correctly. No one could know that they'd been there and that they had known Ziva was the one who shot the two men in the morgue or else, Parson's would be on their ass again.

Gibbs drove straight to the hospital, running inside with McGee and Dorneget. They pushed their way through the crowds of nurses and doctors into a small room.

"Oh hey guys, I'm feeling great! Mission over with?" the voice questioned looking hopefully up towards Gibbs.

"I'm afraid not, Dinozzo." Gibbs sternly stated.

"What? Why? Parsons was arrested… There's nothing left to do, but for me to go find Ziva." Tony looked at Gibbs confused. Why wasn't the mission over with? They arrested Parsons for stabbing him.

"Ziva has gone off the deep end," Gibbs didn't know how to tell Tony what had happened within the past few days. "She really thinks you're dead…." Gibbs reached into his pocket and handed over the note to Tony.

Tony took the note and opened it slowly. As he read, he found himself crying. She was hurt and he knew the same exact feeling. As Tony finished reading the note, he jumped up quickly and grabbed his coat from the seat next to the hospital bed, "I have to go get her," he stated trying to pull away from the nurse who was now trying to him back.

"Sir, you have to get your blood pressure taken! You can't leave yet!" she yelled at him

He pushed away from her, releasing himself from her grip "I don't have time to worry about my damn blood pressure when the woman I love is going to try and kill herself to be with me cause she thinks I'm dead!" Tony's head was spiraling. Why did he ever think it was okay to go along with this plan when he knew Ziva wouldn't react well to it?

"Dinozzo, calm down for a moment-" Gibbs stepped in front of him so, he couldn't make it out of the doorway.

"CALM DOWN?! I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING CALM DOWN BOSS WHEN ZIVA IS OUT THERE, SCARED THINKING THAT I'M DEAD!" He screamed looking at the older man, "I SHOULD HAVE NEVER GONE ALONG WITH YOUR STUPID PLAN IN THE FIRST PLACE! NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GOING TO GET MY NINJA ," Tony stormed through Gibbs, their shoulders colliding as he walked through the door.

Tony paced through the hospital way and made his way to find a cab outside. He quickly told the driver to go to the airport and sat back slowly. He was really out of breath from hurrying to get out of the hospital and that probably wasn't healthy considering the fact that he was just stabbed a few days ago. He watched out the cab window and thought about Ziva. How she must of felt the same exact way he did when he thought she had died. It was something he never wanted to experience again and definitely never wanted her to feel that way. She had lost way too many people in her life and he felt ashamed that he went along with this plan of Gibbs. Not to mention the fact that he didn't know someone would end up stabbing him as he kissed his beautiful ninja. He could only describe that moment as the best AND worst moment of his life. Kissing her, obviously the best part about it. While he stared out the window, the one thing he failed to miss was Gibbs, McGee and Dorneget right on the cab drivers tail as they drove to the airport right behind him.

Fifteen minutes later, they all arrived at the airport. Tony charged through people in order to get up to the front desk.

"Hi, how can I help you?" the woman from behind the desk asked Tony.

"I need a ticket for the soonest flight you can give me to Paris," Tony said frantically.

Paris. Gibbs mind raced through thoughts as soon as Tony told the woman at the desk Paris. _So that's where Ziva was talking about,_ he thought to himself. Gibbs never denied the fact he thought something did happen in Paris that Tony and Ziva. It happened to him and Jenny, and they weren't even flirtatious like Tony and Ziva were. Everything was finally making sense to Gibbs. Tony and Ziva had been different when they returned from their undercover trip to Paris and now Gibbs had finally found out the reason why.

"I'm sorry sir, a flight left a few minutes ago to Paris. You're going to have to wait three hours for another one," the woman replied.

Tony cursed under his breath and looked back at Gibbs. Ziva was most likely on that flight to Paris depending how much earlier she left before them. Gibbs stepped forward, seeing the frightened look on Tony's face. He walked to the desk and showed the woman his badge, "Agent Gibbs, NCIS. We need a private flight to Paris right away." He had nothing, but a stern look on his face.

The woman saw Gibb's badge, "Um, yes sir hold on one moment." She went into the back room and a moment later came out with another man. The man looked at Gibbs and started to type away on the computer and speak into his walkie talkie. After repeating this, he finally looked up at Tony and Gibbs, "We've arranged a pilot to fly you there now. Be at gate 4B in ten minutes." He finished typing on the computer, "is this for a case?" he questioned.

"No," Gibbs answered. "One of our agents is in trouble," Gibbs smiled and walked away with Tony.

Ten minutes later, Tony had ran to the gate waiting for Gibbs, McGee and Dorneget to catch up.

Tony kept dialing Ziva's number as he waited at the gate. Likely, the reason she wasn't answering was because she was on a plane at the moment. A pilot came to the gate door and greeted the men, telling them it was time to board the plane. As soon as they got onto the plane, Tony tried dialing Ziva's number one more time before take off.

Ziva sat on the plane, staring out the window. She couldn't believe that she just had lost her dad and now…her best friend. Her everything. The man she loved. There were no words to describe just what he had meant to her. This wasn't how anything was supposed to happen. They were supposed to take the next step after he kissed her…not die. She sighed and reached into her purse, pulling out her phone.

4 missed calls. _Probably Gibbs, Abby, McGee and Ducky,_ she thought to herself. But, when she cliked "View" on her phone to see the missed calls, her heart dropped to the ground.

_4 Missed Calls - Anthony Dinozzo_. Was this another sick joke? She felt sick to her stomach. He was dead. Who the hell would be calling her off Tony's number? Was it the police? It had to be. They obviously found out it was her who shot those two men and were thinking the only way they'd get a hold of her was by using Tony's number. Ziva looked at the man asleep next to her, making sure she didn't wake him up with her fussing and freaking out. She looked down at her phone again and turned it off. She carefully took the battery and SIM card out of her phone, putting them both into her pocket and threw the phone into her bag. The police weren't going to find her now and not even later when she ended this nightmare.

9 hours later, Ziva stepped off the plane and looked around. The last time she had been to this airport, Tony was right beside her. As they walked across the tarmac and through the airport, he had made a comment about every French woman who walked by. She had giggled at his remarks, he was always way in over his head with women.

The more Ziva walked through the airport, the more she reminisced on the time her and Tony were here undercover. She made it outside the airport, speaking to a French chauffeur and asking him to take her to the hotel. Yes, that hotel. The same hotel where her and Tony spent making fake love, yet falling deeply in love with each other for nothing more than a case. The hotel that they would never speak about again, until Berlin when Tony referred to her as "sweetcheeks"…twice. Ziva smiled as she looked out the window of the town car she was riding in.

_Paris was where they fell in love, Berlin was where they realized it._

Tony ran through the tarmac of the Paris airport. Knocking people down and hearing men shout at him in a language he didn't know a word of. Gibbs, McGee and Dorneget weren't far behind him. They followed him running and dodged their way past the people he had knocked over. Tony ran as fast as he could to get outside of the airport and looked for a driver. He anxiously looked around, but most cabs seemed to have people inside. Finally, he saw one pull up and got inside of it quickly telling the driver where to go. The other three men joined him inside the cab, Tony sat in front and shook at the thought of them being too late to find her.

Ziva walked into the hotel and up to the front desk. She set down her suitcase and smiled at the man at the front desk, "Hi, I talked to you on the phone?"

"Oui Ma'am" he replied, "The hotel room you wanted is available," he smiled at her.

"Wonderful!" she smiled back as she handed him her credit card. He took her card and ran it through. She signed the receipt and took the card to the hotel room. She made her way towards the elevator and waited patiently for the doors to open. She heard the ding and watched a pair of small children run out of the elevator with their parents. She smiled at them, thinking how wonderful it would've been to have children with Tony and visiting Paris with them, telling them the story of how their mother and father fell in love here. The thought of this made her heart melt as she stepped inside the elevator and waited to be on the right floor. A moment later, the elevators door open and she had arrived on the floor. She stepped out of the elevator, making her way down the hall. Approaching the room, she took in a deep breath and slid her room card through the slider. The door opened and she turned the knob, looking inside the room. Nothing had changed. She dropped her suitcase and walked over to the bed. Her hand grazed along the end of the bed, remembering the moment she was sitting on Tony's back giving him a massage.

The tears began welling up in her eyes. She looked over to the cabinet where the TV sat inside of and remembered the moment she had closed the cabinet doors. Her hands lingered on Tony, his on hers and suddenly their lips had collided. The sensation that filled her body as he kissed her, made her shiver the same way it had the other night while he kissed her.

Except that time, her dress didn't fall to the ground, Tony's body did.

The tears were now running down her face and Ziva couldn't take the pain any longer. She needed to be with him, even if it wasn't in this lifetime. She walked back over to her suitcase and unzipped it. From inside, she grabbed her gun and slowly walked over to in front of the balcony. A salty taste formed in her mouth from the amount of tears falling from her eyes. She closed her eyes slowly, visioning the site of Tony. She cried harder as she saw his presence and raised the gun up to her head and felt the barrel along her skin.

Suddenly, she jumped at a crashing sound and flung around. She pointed the gun as she stared at the man in front of her, the tears coming down like a waterfall.

"Hey…." Tony said calmly smiling that she hadn't hurt herself yet "I'm right here, sweetcheeks," He held his hands up in the air.

Ziva blinked her eyes, trying to figure out why she was seeing him in front of her. He was dead. She kept the gun pointed at him as he slowly moved forwards toward her. She started to back up and shake, "Who…who… who are you?!" she yelled out at him, still crying.

"Zee, it's me. Tony. I'm alive, I'm so sorry" he kept inching towards her, hoping she'd put the gun down.

"TONY'S DEAD! WHY ARE YOU IMPOSTERING HIM?" She yelled out again, still backing up with the gun pointed to him. He realized she really wasn't in her right state of mind. She was definitely having a psychological break down.

"Zee, I promise I'm Tony. I'm not dead, I never was. I wouldn't lie to you…" he stopped moving towards her as he saw the fear in her eyes.

"You're a ghost…" she whispered

"No, no, no. Ziva, I'm not a ghost. I'm alive and well, Zee. Drop the gun and I'll prove it," he started to move towards her again.

"STOP! I'LL SHOOT YOU! GET AWAY!" she screamed out and put her finger on the trigger causing Tony to stop again.

"Ziva! You've got to trust me! You're supposed to trust me! I'm not a ghost or imposter! I'm real! Put the gun down before someone gets hurt!" he didn't know how this situation was going to end and he was worried.

She stared at him intently, not knowing whether to believe if this was a dream or if it was actually reality. He started to move towards her again and she swiftly raised the gun up to her own head, again.

"ZIVA!" he dove towards her as he knocked her down to the ground and a shot rang out. Tony's breath hitched as he looked underneath himself at Ziva. He was lying on top of her, on the floor. Tears were still coming from her eyes which were now red and swollen. To his relief, he looked towards the wall and saw the bullet had gone through it. He smiled knowing that she was okay when he eyed the dried up cuts on both of her wrists.

Gibbs walked in slowly and saw both of them on the ground, Tony on top of her. "Is she okay?"He questioned walking over.

Tony stared at Ziva who looked up at him in disbelief acting like she really did see a ghost, "Right now she's physically okay, but psychologically, not at all."


	9. Chapter 9

Tony got off the ground slowly, still underneath him at Ziva. Gibbs walked over and lowered to the ground trying to help Ziva up. She took his hand and slowly got up. Her eyes never wandered off Tony the whole time.

He put his hand on her lower back, holding her up as he spoke "Zee, it's me. I promise. I'm here, I'm alive." She had a blank stare on her face.

"Ever- every-" she stuttered "Everyone said you were dead,"

"I'm not, Ziva. I'm fully breathing and alive. It was part of our mission to bring down Parsons and get my job back. It wasn't the original plan because no one expected me to get stabbed." He said trying to make the situation sound better than it was at the moment.

Ziva was in disbelief, "You…agreed to some plan to make me think that you were dead…just to get our jobs back?"

"Well, if you say it like that it sounds bad, but-"

"Sounds bad? Tony I have not stopped fucking crying for days now. Why on this planet would you agree to that?!"

Tony chuckled at her mix up, "Why on earth, Ziva"

"This" Ziva pointed in between the two of them. "This is not the time to be correcting me right now, Tony. How could you two do this to me?" she looked at both of the men in the room.

"The original plan was for me to be 'kidnapped' by Parsons. But then, I got stabbed by those two men and we had to think of something fast! It wasn't to hurt you!" Tony couldn't think of anything else to say that would make her feel any better. He just wanted to get her home and safe.

"The thing that's even worse, is the fact that the one person who knows me better than anyone." Ziva looked at Tony straight in the eyes, "the person who knows everything that I've been through, everyone that I've LOST" she started to cry again "would still agree to a plan where I lose them too."

"Zee, I didn't, I wasn't thinking! Come here," he grabbed her and tried to hug her.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" She tried to push away and he wouldn't let her so she used all of her weight and pushed him back into the wall. "I HATE YOU!"

Gibbs grabbed onto Ziva and pulled her away from hurting Tony, "Get her the hell out of here, Dinozzo. Go to the airport, get us a plane. I'll meet you there. When we get home, we'll take her to the hospital. I'll go downstairs and explain to the hotel manager why there's a bullet in his wall," Gibbs said and left the room, quickly after.

Tony bent over and grabbed Ziva's gun and suitcase. He carefully placed the gun into his holder on the side of his pants. He zipped up Ziva's suitcase and threw it over his shoulders. He was hurt. He never wanted to hear those words out of her mouth, even though she wasn't in the right frame of mind now. Taking a deep breath in, trying to forget what she had just said, he motioned for Ziva to come with him and she slowly did. In the halls of the hotel, he walked in front of her and she fell behind. He kept looking back at her every few seconds to make sure she was still there when he would hear the shuffles of her feet stop. When they entered the elevator and rode down to leave the hotel, neither of them spoke. Ziva stood in the elevator looking down the whole time, trying to come to place with what had just happened.

As soon as they exited the hotel, Tony called for a cab. He helped Ziva get inside the cab and sat next to her, closely. She tried to move away from him, but the cab wasn't big enough to get away from him. On their way to the airport, Tony glanced down at Ziva's wrists again. The cuts were long and drawn out across her wrists and the scar was completely dry. He figured she had done this the past couple of days.

Ziva noticed him looking down at her wrists. _Shit_. She turned her wrists around and moved them under her shirt pretending to be cold while she turned back to staring out the cab window. Tony knew she was onto him looking at her wrists. He shrugged and rested his hand over her knee, making sure she knew he wasn't going anywhere. Ziva twitched at the feeling of his hand on her knee. She was glad she had pants on because if she would have had a skirt or dress on, the skin to skin contact would have pushed her over the edge. Yet, no matter how much she wanted to pull her leg away from him, she couldn't.

When they arrived at the airport, Tony tried to help Ziva out of the cab, but she just pushed through him. He started walking in front of her again and went to talk to an employee about getting her home.

Gibbs had eventually arrived to the airport after telling the hotel owner what had happened in the room. Tony and Ziva didn't speak to each other…at all, the whole time. Soon after, they boarded the plane on their home. On the plane, Ziva rushed over to a window seat and sat down. Tony went to sit down next to her and she dropped her suitcase onto the seat next to her.

"Seriously, Ziva?" He stood there questioning as Gibbs took a seat in the aisle across from her.

"I don't want you near me, Anthony." She barely even looked at him as she laid her head down and closed her eyes. _Anthony? Since when the hell has she called me that?_

"Dinozzo." Gibbs sternly said as he patted the seat next to him and Tony shook his head. Tony sat down next to Gibbs and sighed heavily. It was going to be a long flight.

The whole flight back to D.C, Ziva had slept. When she had first fell asleep, Tony had stood up and laid a blanket over her and brushed the hair out of her face. He stared at her for a moment, taking in all of her beauty. He couldn't help, but feel guilty for putting her through hell that past week. He couldn't blame her for any of this, it was his own fault.

Ziva awoke when they landed in D.C and she felt the tires of the plane hit the ground. She looked around and noticed she had a blanket over her. _Tony_ she figured. She folded up the blanket and went to grab her suitcase when she felt another hand over hers. Tony grabbed onto her suitcase the same time she did and their hands touched softly. He stared back down at her when she moved her arm quickly away from where a flame was just started by their touch. Tony grabbed the suitcase and got off the plane following Gibbs. Ziva wasn't far behind them as they walked through the airport terminal and to Gibbs car he had left there.

"God, why do I always feel like I'm being returned home by you two," she sighed.

"Because you always are." Tony spat out, "You're so fucking stubborn so, you go and do this stupid shit and I have to always come rescue you." By this time and after the long flight, he was just angry she was hurting herself like this. Not to mention, being incredibly bitchy.

Ziva rolled her eyes, "I do not need saved by you Tony. I have never asked you to come after me," she gave him a bitchy glare as she got in Gibbs car while he stared at Tony.

"Not right now, Boss." Tony sighed and entered the car too.

Gibbs got into the car also, driving to the nearest hospital so they could get Ziva checked out. The car ride silent the whole way.

"I am fine, I do not need to go to the hospital," Ziva yelled as they approached the hospital.

"Ziva, you tried to kill yourself!" Gibbs slammed on the breaks in the middle of the road and looked at her. She really was losing her mind. She sat there staring back at him and he spoke again, "You're wanted for the murder of those two men in the morgue,"

Ziva shook her head when she looked behind and saw Tony's eyes go big, "MURDER?"

Gibbs nodded, "Shot the two guys who stabbed you, execution style in the hospital morgue looking for your body,"

"YOU DID WHAT? ZIVA-" Tony was interrupted.

"We're going to get her checked out, Dinozzo. She's clearly not okay…" Gibbs looked towards Ziva as he parked the car at the hospital.

Gibbs and Tony sat in the waiting room for the rest of the night while the doctors tested Ziva for any psychological problem. Tony rarely spoke the whole time. He couldn't believe that Ziva shot the two men who stabbed him. Yeah, she was always the one who wanted to get revenge, but he couldn't believe she would go that far.

Tony finally spoke up, "What are we going to do if they take her to prison?" His head was spinning just thinking about his ninja being locked up.

"They can't. She's unstable and can take the psychological plead." Gibbs looked at Dinozzo seriously, "I'll talk to her and explain it's my fault."

Dinozzo nodded and looked towards a woman who was now walking towards them. They both stood up as she approached them and shook their hands, "Hi, I'm Doctor Linda Thomas. We just finished the last test on Ziva. She'll need to spend the night so, we can keep an eye on her brain activity."

Gibbs responded, "Okay. He'll stay with her for the night," he pointed to Dinozzo who was shocked he insisted him to stay, "will she be seeing a psychologist?"

"Yes, Dr. Smith will be in later tonight to talk to her. If the test results come out positive, she'll be needing to see him on a weekly basis." Tony and Gibbs nodded yes. "Also, we found scars on her wrist that are likely from cutting by a razor. This is another thing she will be needing to see help for,"

"Okay, thank you" Gibbs spoke quietly, finding it hard to believe that Ziva kept hurting herself like this.

"If you guys have any questions or need anything, feel free to page me." She handed them a card with her number on it and walked away.

Gibbs slipped the card into Tony's hand and started to walk towards Zivas room. Tony sat back down on the chair in the waiting room, putting his face in his hands and letting out a deep sigh.

Gibbs slowly turned the knob on the door and walked into Ziva's room. She was lying still in bed, watching TV. She hardly looked at him. The monitors around the room made a symphony of noises, which he could tell was bugging the hell out of her.

"Hey, Ziver." He walked over and kissed her forehead. She stayed silent, not knowing what to say to him until he stared to speak again, "I'm sorry about everything. I wasn't thinking when I made Tony agree to the plan. But, we never expected for him to get stabbed. We had to think quickly and we really just weren't thinking…. Don't blame him Ziva. He knows what it feels like…" Ziva's mind flashed back to Somalia when Tony told her he thought she was dead all of those months she was gone. He didn't deal with the pain by hurting himself with razors and guns, instead he drank himself away. He continued, "In my defense though, Zee. I gave you tons of hints to figure out he was still alive."

Ziva rolled her eyes and scoffed, "Gibbs, I heard the report on the radio!"

"And what did it say?" he questioned.

"That Tony was stabbed by Parsons!" She threw her arms up in the air.

"Exactly! Stabbed, not murdered. I wrote the report trying to give you a hint." He chuckled looking at her stunned face.

"But-but you said you buried him at the hospital!" She was annoyed she never got his clues. Maybe she really did need to be at the hospital.

"Ziva, you should know you don't bury people two days later… and why would I be at the hospital still if he had died? I was still there to see him, but you went running and I knew you wouldn't find his body in the morgue. I figured once you didn't find it, you'd finally get it. Instead, you ended up killing two men,"

She sighed, "I don't know how I didn't catch on…"

"You were blinded by love," Gibbs winked at her and once again she was left stunned. He kissed her forehead once more and got up, "Goodnight, Ziver. See you in the morning." And with that he left the room heading back out to the waiting room, motioning for Tony to go in.

Tony sighed and walked leisurely into Ziva's room. She didn't even bother to look at him, but she decided to speak not moving her eyes away from the TV "You don't have to stay here with me,"

He moved a chair closer to her bed, sitting down in it and propping his feet up onto her hospital bed. She looked down at his feet and rolled her eyes. "We both know that I'm not going anywhere,"

"You are not going to stay all night, are you?" she questioned finally looking at him.

"I'm staying Zee-vah. You aren't going to get rid of me," he said giving her the Dinozzo grin and she fought smiling back.

They watched TV in silence for a while, before they heard the door open.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Smith," the man said as he walked in and looked at Ziva, "Wow, they never warned me how gorgeous my patient was," he gave a flirty smile to Ziva. Tony stood up quickly, broadening his shoulder in a protective way. This action made Ziva smirk to herself and she held her hand out to the doctor.

"Ziva David," she fluttered her eye lashes as he shook her hand.

"Tony Dinozzo" Tony stated loudly in the room, looking at Ziva and the doctor.

"Are you the husband?" Dr. Smith questioned,

"No!" Ziva chirped out and gave Tony a dirty look.

"Actually-" Tony started to say before he was interrupted.

"Okay, well I just need to get these cords off of you.." the doctor unhooked the cords from around her, "so I can check your brain activity and then I'll leave for the night to let you sleep. I'll be back in the morning. Nice meeting you, Ziva" he smiled as he head for the door and just nodded at Tony.

After the Doctor left, Tony sat back down and stared at Ziva wondering what the hell she was doing flirting with that doctor right in front of him.

"See, Tony?! I am in perfectly good company to stay here by myself for the night!" she smirked at him knowing she was getting under his skin. _Payback for me thinking you were dead, _she thought to herself.

"Yeah, right." He laughed sarcastically, "I'm not leaving you alone with Dr. Doolittle who wants to _do_ you" he emphasized the word "do" letting her know the exchange between her and doctor bothered the shit out of him.

Ziva scoffed and rolled over onto her side, facing away from him. "Goodnight" she closed her eyes and before she knew it she was fast asleep.

Tony watched TV until it became late, watching over her closely. He didn't like the fact that she was facing away from him. He stood up, moving the covers overtop of her more so she wouldn't be cold. He stared at her for a moment, watching her breathe peacefully. His head moved towards her and he placed a light kiss on her temple before brushing the hair out of her face.

"Goodnight, beautiful" he whispered, pulling himself away from the urge of wanting to hold her.

Sitting back down in the chair, he tried to get some sleep, but he couldn't. Flashbacks of her in their hotel room in Paris kept replaying in his mind. His beautiful, Israeli goddess standing, tears streaming down her face while holding a gun up to her head.


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning Tony woke up and looked around. He had hardly slept that night. Not to mention, he was sleeping in the world's most uncomfortable chair. He lowered his legs from off of Ziva's bed and tried to sit up. A pain shot through his back and he gritted his teeth to stop himself from crying out.

_Great, I can't leave her side for a night and now I can't get up._

Waiting a moment to try and get up again, Tony patiently sat in the chair. His eyes lingered over to Ziva who was still sleeping soundly. He slowly got up from the chair, trying not to make a sound and left the room. Coffee was a must after that night of no sleep.

Just as he was rounding the corner, Dr. Thomas bumped into him.

"I'm sorry Dr!" Tony smiled/

"It's fine! I was just about to go into Ziva's room! Is she up?" She questioned Tony.

"No. I think this is the first night of sleep she's gotten," He felt guilt remain over him as he spoke.

"Most definitely," she acknowledged and continued to speak. "I wanted to tell you that she'll have to stay overnight again. Most of her test results came back negative, but we still have a few more to do. The most we can figure is that her body and brain went into shock which led her to do all of these crazy things to end the pain she was going through. She will be able to leave here tomorrow, but she'll have to continue seeing Dr. Smith on a weekly basis,"

_Greaaaaat._ Tony muttered to himself. "Okay, thank you Dr. Thomas. I'll go to her place then and grab her a few items for tonight." He smiled and walked away, calling a cab and heading to his apartment. Once he was at his apartment, he took a quick shower and gathered a few things he would need for the night while staying with Ziva at the hospital.

Ziva awoke a bit after Tony had left. She felt cold and brought the blank up over her more, rolling over and finding that Tony was not there anymore. She shrugged and wondered where he went. He normally wouldn't leave her like that, but she figured he was the last person she wanted to see anyways. She grabbed the remote, turning the TV on and flipping through the channels to find something to watch. But, she couldn't find anything when a distant thought lingered through her head hoping that Tony would be back and she didn't push him away, again.

Tony grabbed the key to Ziva's apartment and carefully unlocked her door. He stepped in and looked around, yellow caution tape everywhere. _The police have been looking for her,_ He cautiously walked around, not to ruin the crime scene. As he walked into her bedroom, he saw the broken picture frame and picture of them on the ground. He bent down to the ground and saw the blood stain next to the broken glass. He closed his eyes and tried to get the image out of his head of Ziva holding the gun up to her head. Opening his eyes again, he stood up and went over to her dresser, opening a drawer. Inside the drawer were Ziva's bra and panties. He went to close it, but he thought she might need new ones on. He lifted up a pair of her underwear, trying not to look at them and he quickly stuffed them into a bag for her. He searched for a normal bra, considering most of the ones in this drawer were lace or too sexy for the hospital. As he rummaged for just a cotton bra, he tried not to let his mind wander or even think about her having most of these intimate items on with another man. He found a cotton, white bra and stuffed it into the bag. Moving over quickly to her closet, he found a pair of sweats and tossed them into the bag, along with a black tank top.

"Good morning, Ziva" Dr. Smith walked in smiling as he took looked at her monitors.

"Hi…" Ziva answered as she wondered what he was doing in her room before Dr. Thomas.

"Have a good night's sleep?" he asked as he carefully unhooked Ziva from the brain activity monitors around her head. Ziva nodded and he continued, "Well, everything looks good. You'll probably be out of here by tomorrow. You're body and brain were probably shocked which lead you to be unstable. Otherwise, we haven't seen any suspicious brain activity since you've been here," he finished unhooking her.

"Okay, thank you," she smiled up to him.

Dr. Smith looked around the room, "Where's your boyfriend at? I'm surprised he isn't hovering over me," he laughed.

"Oh, he's not my-" she paused for a moment, not knowing how to describe exactly what her and Tony are. They hadn't talked about what happened when they were out to dinner that night before he got stabbed.

"He's not?" he questioned, a smile growing on his face.

"It's...complicated," she gave him a weird glare, wondering why he was asking these questions.

"Oh," he smiled again and walked over to her, "well, I hope it isn't that complicated where I could take you out to lunch sometime, to you know figure out the schedule for when you want to meet me in my office?"

"Umm," Ziva thought for a moment, _he wasn't really asking her out was he? Of course not! He was her psychologist, he couldn't do that_. "Sure" she smiled to him watching another big smile grow on his face.

"Nice, alright we'll I have your number in my file. So, I'll call you after you leave." He smiled as they heard the door to the hospital room open.

Tony walked in slowly, glaring at Dr. Smith. _What the fuck is he doing here? He definitely waited till I left to get her alone. Fucking creep! _He set Ziva's bag down next to her bed and smiled at her, "Hey.." and looked back up to glare again at Dr. Smith.

"Alright. I'll talk to you later, Ziva." He smirked at Tony and exited the room. Tony handed a coffee cup from Starbucks to Ziva as he set his down on the table next to his chair.

Ziva took the cup from him, "Thanks….where were you?" she questioned shyly.

"I went home, took a shower. Then went to your place and grabbed you a few things," he motioned towards the bag beneath her.

"Ohh," she nodded and sipped the hot coffee.

"Were you worried I wouldn't I come back?" he asked, chuckling a bit.

"Noo…" she said softly, but knew he could tell in her eyes and by the tone of her voice that she was lying. He simply sat there and nodded. She looked at him again, "Gibbs was here. He was going back to work today. We get our desks back," she smiled.

"That's good then," he laughed looking at how excited she was to get back to work, "I bet Probie is installing some new software to our computers after Parsons fucked with them all," She laughed. "What did Dr. Doolittle want?"

"Nothing," she shrugged not wanting to tell him anything, "He just came to get the monitors off me," She could see Tony's hand clench.

Ziva rose from the bed, "I'm going to go take a quick shower, I feel and look disgusting in these clothes still," she grabbed the bag and headed towards her private bathroom in her hospital room before stopping as she heard Tony speak.

"For the record, Ziva David… you could _never _look disgusting," He saw a faint smile grow on her face as she walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

Ziva opened her bag to find a pair of sweats and tank in it. Underneath there was deodorant, some body spray, shampoo and conditioner. Below those, were her bra and panties. She giggled to herself as she looked at what Tony picked out for her. She expected him to have picked out lingerie for her, but he actually didn't. Giggling to herself, she pondered about what he looked at in that drawer. _Some day, _she smiled_, some day he might just see what all of those look like on me. _She stepped into the shower and turned the water on.

The day quickly passed, Tony and Ziva watched reality shows the whole time. Tony went downstairs to the hospital cafeteria and brought back him and Ziva some lunch then later on dinner. Ziva hardly ate anything considering the food tasted horrible. Tony however, ate it all and even most of hers. She laughed when he said that he'd be around forever to eat her leftovers. Soon enough, the sun quickly went down and the moonlight was shining into the room from the hospital windows. Ziva laid in her hospital bed, flipping through the channels again to find a movie, but feeling tired. Tony sat in the chair next to the bed, with his legs propped up on her hospital bed.

Ziva stopped flipping the channels when she saw that James Bond was on, Tony's favorite movie. She watched out of the corner of her eye as he was ecstatic at the fact she was going to let him watch. He sat up and put his legs down from her bed and watched the movie intently. Ziva wondered why he wasn't laying back like he usually had, when she realized that the moonlight was shining on the screen, giving it a glare. He had to sit up to see the screen properly. She looked back at the TV screen, she wasn't getting a glare from her angle. She looked down at the hospital bed and sighed deeply. Moving her body over slowly, she made enough room to the side of her and looked back at Tony who wasn't even noticing what she did.

"Tony," she stared at him and patted the spot she created next to her in bed.

"What?" his eyes didn't move from watching the TV.

"Tony!" she sternly said as she looked at her quickly because of the change in tone of her voice.

He noticed her patting the side of her and gave her a weird look, "I'm fine, Zee."

"No, you aren't. This is your favorite movie, now get over here," she shifted again to give him more room as he got up, following her orders.

Tony slowly slid into bed with her, trying to not take up all the room. His arm was squished into her now, so he reached up and put it over her pillow where her head was so, it wasn't around her. She set back into her pillow, feeling his arm up over head. For some reason, she wished he had put it around her. He grabbed the covers and pulled them up over them both, tucking Ziva in. She looked up and watched him smile at his favorite movie.

Her eyes became tired and she closed them as she heard Tony's soft laughs as he continued to watch his movie.

Just being here in this position with him, reminded her that he was in fact alive and right next to her.

Shortly later, both of them had fallen asleep.

In the middle of the night, Tony woke up and heard the TV was still on. He must have fell asleep, which was weird for him. Especially since it was his favorite movie. He tried to sit up, but felt a tight pull on him. Looking down, he found Ziva's head rested on his chest with her arm draped around his stomach, hugging him. He smiled and realized his arm was under her body, resting on her waist. He used his other hand to grab the remote and turned the TV off. Now realizing how perfect this moment was, he didn't want to go to sleep again. He wanted to lay awake, take in this precious moment and feel Ziva's skin on his. His eyes adjusted to the darkness that took over the hospital room and his hand lightly brushed Ziva's cheek. The feather light touch that caressed her skin didn't wake her from her slumber, somehow she knew it was him in her sleep and knew that she was in safe hands. His lips came down to her brunette locks, touching the top of her head and he kissed her head softly. He laid his head back and down and closed his eyes, tugging on her waist tighter and never wanting to let go. Her breaths were long and steady, he listened to them as he lay there awake, taking in the moment.

_Dr. Doolittle should come in now and see that she's off limits, _he chuckled to himself, feeling sleep overcome him.


	11. Chapter 11

Early next morning, Ziva opened her eyes trying to figure out where she was. She picked her head up and realized her body was draped over Tony with his arms tightly wrapped around her. She looked around the room and remembered having Tony climb into the hospital bed with her. Glancing over at the clock, she sighed. It was only five six thirty in the morning and the sun was just peeking through the hospital windows. As much as she hated to admit it, that was the best night of sleep she had gotten in a long time.

Tony started to stir a bit in his sleep and Ziva tried to break free from his hold. She didn't want him to wake up and see how they were laying, based on the fact that she was still mad at him for putting her through hell thinking he was dead. And, the fact that they had not talked about the kiss and "I love you's" they had shared on their date night.

She slid underneath his hold and freed her arms from around his chest. She turned over completely, facing the other way and making sure there was space between them. Tony woke up, feeling the bed move from her constant moving. He opened his left eye and noticed she wasn't laying across him anymore, but she was on the other side of the bed, away from him.

_Still must be pissed at me, _he groaned to himself and sat up, looking around and at the time. Feeling in need of some strong coffee, he got up off the bed and went to put his shoes on.

Hearing the shuffle of footsteps and the fear of him leaving, Ziva flew up off the bed and looked over to him. Tony gave her a weird look, trying to figure out why she had sat up so quickly, "Good morning, Zee…"

"Morning…" she slowly said watching him put his shoes on, "Where are you going?"

Tony stared at her, wondering why she was so worried, "To get us some coffee…is that alright?" he questioned, fixing his hair a bit.

"Ohhh, yeah." She smiled and rubbed her eyes, laying back down in the hospital bed.

"Okay, I'll be back in a few." He smiled and left the room, heading down to the hospital cafeteria.

Ziva stayed in bed wondering about what time she would able to leave the hospital this morning. She went to search for her phone in her purse and looked up when she thought Tony was back with the coffees.

"Good Morning!" Dr. Smith chimed in loudly and smiled at her.

Ziva gritted her teeth together, it was too early for people to be yelling and now this guy really put her on edge. "Hello," she replied in a bitchy tone. _Why the hell does he magically time when Tony leaves to come in?! _

Dr. Smith checked all of the machines attached to Ziva and unattached her from them. He wrote a few things down on his clipboard and smiled at her. "Everything looks great, Ziva. You'll be able to leave this morning and go back to your usual schedule. The only thing we have to plan on, is scheduling your weekly routine appointments with me.

"Okay…" she smiled back, happy that she could finally leave this place.

"I have your number on file, but how would you feel about going to lunch tomorrow, so we can plan out your meetings with me?" he questioned, giving her a flirty smile.

"Uh, yeah. I could probably do that," she smiled, not seeing his flirty smile, but instead looking at the door waiting for Tony to return.

"Awesome, I can't wait. I'll give you a call in the morning then to make sure you're still up for it. Have a great day, Ziva," he smiled and left the room just as Tony was walking through the door. Tony broadened his shoulders as Dr. Smith passed by him, feeling their shoulders collide. Ziva giggled at this exchange, Tony really hated him.

Tony walked into the room, smiling when he saw Ziva's face watching him. He handed her a cup of coffee and one of the bags he was holding. Ziva peered inside the bag and found her favorite, chocolate glazed donut. She took out the donut and started to eat it, slowly and looking up to watch Tony literally inhale his own donut.

Wiping the powder off his face, Tony spoke, "What did Dr. Douchebag want?"

Ziva chuckled at how jealous he was of this man, "I can go home this morning."

Tony smiled at her, "Alright, after we're done eating here I'll take you home so you can get some rest."

Ziva nodded and ate the rest of her donut. When she was done, she threw the stuff she had laying around the hospital room into the bag Tony had bought her the day before. Tony grabbed the bag from her and walked towards the door, opening it for her. She walked out of the door with him and headed to his car.

The car ride to her apartment was quiet. Tony had put on the radio and sang along to some old 70s and 80s hits that Ziva didn't know. She laughed as he knew every word to the song and belted them out with people in other cars staring. When they arrived at her apartment, Tony ran over to Ziva's side of the car and held out his hand to help her out of the car. She didn't take his hand and got out of the car by herself, grabbing her bag. He shook his head, closing the car door and followed her up to her apartment. When she unlocked her apartment, she noticed the crime tape that had been removed and taken down from around her walls. She sighed, realizing that she was wanted for murder.

Tony watched her look around at the crime tape still left over, figuring that the only reason they left and took it down was because Gibbs made them. "Hey, it'll be okay…" he tried to calm her.

"I'm wanted for murder, Tony. Nothing about this is okay," he could hear the annoyance in her voice.

"Ziva, you weren't in the right frame of mind. Gibbs already told the Police Commissioner what happened and how you are in psychological treatment right now," he didn't want her to think she was going to jail. He would never let that happen.

"Great, so everyone now thinks I'm a psycho street!" she threw up her hands in disgust.

"Psychopath, Ziva." Tony corrected her, "And no one does! It was stupid of us to put you through this! I promise, we'll make this up to you!" he pleaded, staring at her with puppy dog eyes.

Ziva stared back at him and just shrugged. She looked into her bedroom and noticed the broken frame of her and Tony was now cleaned up. She looked back at Tony as he made his way over to her and spoke, "Now, I'm going to leave. Please, rest. We go back to work in a few days and you need to try and recover." He continued "And please, do me a favor. Never, ever, hurt yourself again. I can't deal with that," he stared at her, trying to get her to realize how emotional she makes him.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" she said in a bitchy tone, "I haven't hurt myself!" she looked down to the floor waiting for his answer.

Tony stepped closer to her, removing the space between then and grabbing her hands. He lifted her hands up so they were in between both of their faces. Ziva stared at him, wondering what he was doing. He delicately slid his hands down to her wrists, rubbing his thumbs over the scars on her wrist and whispered, "I know these are new scars, Ziva. Please, for me… stop doing this." He lowered his lips to her wrists and kissed one of the scars lightly. He lowered her hands down, letting go and walking towards the door. He opened the door and turned around, looking at her stunned face from what he just did, "Call me if you need me, Zee. You know I'll come running," he smiled and left.

Ziva looked down at her wrists and the scars. Anthony Dinozzo was the only man that could make her be pissed, sad, happy and grateful, all at the same time.

For the rest of the day, Ziva laid on her couch trying to rest. But for some reason, she could never get herself to fall asleep. She turned on the TV and watched for a bit, deciding she had to eat. She went through her fridge and found a salad to eat. She sighed, she would have to go grocery shopping soon considering everything was way past its expiration date.

After eating her salad, she went back and watched more TV for the rest of the night. When it became late, she walked into her bedroom, looking around at how cleaned up it was. She figured it was either Gibbs or Tony. Someone had placed the picture of her and Tony that she broke, back on the stand next to her bed. She figured that definitely was Tony because he was the only one who knew that picture was from that spot. She crawled into bed, laying her head down on her pillow and wrapping the covers around her. Her house seemed freezing, or maybe it was the fact that the night before that she had extra warmth around her from Tony. Her eyes became tired and when she could no longer keep them open, she finally fell asleep.

"TONY!" Ziva flew up from her bed, gripping onto the covers. Her breathing was rapid and tears were streaming down her face. She looked around, realizing that she was home and looked at the clock. She had only been in bed for two hours. She felt her body trembling, trying to figure out if she was in reality or in another nightmare. She couldn't stop crying. Before she screamed Tony's name, she was chained onto stakes in a dungeon. Tony had kissed her slowly and when she opened her eyes, Saleem stabbed Tony in the side. The same thing that had happened during their date night, but this time when he was rescuing Somalia. She tried to calm herself, but she couldn't. Was it just a dream or was Tony really dead?

She grabbed her phone next to her bed and frantically dialed.

"Hey.." Tony's groggy voice echoed on the other end.

"You're alive," she cried into the phone, tears still coming down.

Tony sighed, "I'll be right over. Don't move," and he hung up.

Ziva walked over to her closet and grabbed her favorite hoodie, Tony's Ohio State hoodie. She put it on and sat back down in her bed, putting the hood up over her head. This was her usual ritual whenever she had a nightmare the past couple years. She would put on Tony's hoodie that smelled like him and it would calm her. His scent made her feel safe because it was almost like his presence was there to protect her.

Within a few minutes, Ziva heard her door open and steps down the hallway. Tony walked in slowly, looking at her and held his arms out. He wrapped her up into a hug, her arms gripping tightly to his waist. His hand went to the back of her head and he kissed the top of her head, "Shhh, I'm here."

Ziva let go and laid back down in bed, the tears finally stopping because he was okay, not to mention he was alive.

"You have my hoodie on," he smiled looking at her. This was one of the dreams of her he had, lying in bed with his clothes on and damn, it was more perfect in reality.

"I always put it on when I have nightmares," she shrugged.

"Yeah, but it smells like me…" he laughed thinking that his smell should scare her more than the nightmares.

Ziva looked up at him, "That's the point…" she said softly.

Tony didn't bother to comprehend what she just said, he brushed the hair out of her face lightly. "I'll be out on the couch, go back to sleep. You need the rest." He said looking at the bags forming under her eyes and shutting the light off in her room. As he made his way out to the couch and laid down, he understood what she had said.

"_Yeah, but it smells like me." "That's the point…"_ It finally clicked in his head. His smell calmed her down. He smiled. She was becoming more vulnerable to him and he loved it. She finally was seeing that he could protect her. He closed his eyes on the couch when he heard footsteps. Through the dark, he saw her shadow. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I wan't….you to sleep with me." Her voice echoed through her apartment. Tony slowly rose from the couch.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yes," she walked back into her room, climbing back into bed.

He followed her and saw she wanted him to lay on the side of the bed by the door. He climbed up into bed next to her and getting underneath the covers. She smiled at him and closed her eyes.

They both drift off into sleep and before the night was over, their bodies were entangled around each other. They were holding tight to each other, never wanting to let go.


	12. Chapter 12

_Buzz…buzz…..buzzz…. crash…._

Ziva sat up in bed, looking around her room. Her phone had been vibrating on the table next to her bed and fell off. She looked next to her, waiting to find Tony, but he wasn't there. The faint smell of coffee suddenly protrude her nose when she realized that he was already up and making coffee for them. Hearing her phone still vibrate on the ground, she reached down and answered it.

"Ziva, Hi!" Dr. Smith's voice came through her cell phone.

"Hi Doctor," she said fixing her hair as she glanced in the mirror across from her bed and saw that she looked like a hot mess.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Fine." She gloomily back. She really didn't care what this guy had to say. She just wanted to meet him quick for lunch and get her meetings with him scheduled out.

"That's good," she could hear him smile through the phone, "I have a conflicting appointment today when we were supposed to meet for lunch. Would you be able to do dinner instead?"

"Uhhh, yeah." Ziva responded thinking she didn't want to spend all night with this guy.

"Alright, that sounds great. Would you mind if I picked you up? It would probably be easier," he recommended.

"Okay…." Ziva said warily into the phone and gave him her address. They quickly said their goodbyes and she walked out into the kitchen where she found Tony pouring two cups of coffee. "Hiii," she smiled at him.

"Good morning, Agent David" he smirked at her and handed her a cup, "What are your plans for today?"

"Nothing. I need to take a shower really badly though," she laughed, sipping her coffee.

"I thought I smelled something," he smirked.

"Excuse me!" she exclaimed and shoved him playfully, "If I remember correctly, Tony. You always have said I smell magnificent."

"Yeah, when you shower" he laughed and she shoved him again.

Ziva decided to play with the moment, not knowing where it would head "Well then, you should smell me after _hot, sweaty, sex_" she smirked as she said the last three words seductively.

Tony gripped onto his coffee cup tighter, "I don't know if I should take that as a threat or promise," he smirked, licking his lips as he watched her lick around the edge of her coffee cup.

"Take it however you want," she winked and went over to pour herself more coffee. She felt his lingering eyes follow her legs and ass while she walked. She smirked to herself realizing how big of tease she was to him.

Her phone began vibrating again and she muttered, "Stop calling me, Dr. Smith" she searched to find where she had put her phone.

"Why is he calling you?" Tony questioned, annoyed at the fact he had her cell number.

Ziva finally found her phone, "Oh, it's Abby. I'll call her back in a bit." She continued "Dr. Smith wanted to go out to lunch today and work out a schedule so, I could meet him. But, he called when I just woke up and said dinner would be better instead."

Tony chuckled, "Just when I thought he couldn't become more of a douchebag, he did. That's the oldest trick in the book, Ziva"

Ziva looked at Tony confused, "Why is he trying to trick a book?"

Tony shook his head, "That's an expression, Zee. He just pulled a move that all guys know. You ask a beautiful woman out to lunch, then call her that day and say lunch isn't good, but you can do dinner. Then you ask her if you can pick her up and it becomes a date." His blood pressure began to rise wondering if she accepted his offer.

"Tony! It's not a date," she clarified seeing his eyes fill with rage.

"YOU'RE GOING?" He shouted out.

"Tony, it's my Doctor! I have to go since you took me to the hospital!" she yelled back at him for overdramatizing this situation.

"You tried to kill yourself, Ziva! That isn't fucking okay!" he set the coffee mug down and threw his hands up in the air.

"Because I thought you were dead! I thought the only person I had left was gone! The one person I trust with my life, the one person who always can make me laugh and the one person who always told me it was going to be okay… I thought was dead!" she screamed, feeling tears begin to form.

"Then why are you going on a date with him?!" Tony spat out.

"I'm not! We're simply going to dinner to plan my appointments with him! If he thinks it's a date, I will tell him that it's not!" she was getting stressed now.

Tony sighed, he didn't want to push her over the edge again, "Okay. Just be safe, please. Call me when you get home."

Ziva smiled at how protective he was of her, "I will, don't worry."

Tony set his mug down, "Okay, I'll get going. I have to coach a basketball game down at the YMCA at noon," Walking over to her, he wrapped his arms around her waist, giving her a hug, "You know the drill, sweet cheeks. Call me if you need me," he smiled and walked towards her door, "and call me when you get home tonight or if you need picked up during dinner," he smiled again as she nodded and left.

For the rest of the night, Tony waited anxiously on his couch for her call. Not any of the sport games on ESPN could get her and the douchebag she was out with off his mind. Luckily, one of the games became a close score so, for a few minutes she was finally off his mind.

During the dinner, Dr. Smith slyly touched Ziva and flirted with her. She simply just smiled back and tried not to give him the wrong idea because she was in fact, head over heels for Anthony Dinozzo. He had ordered a bottle of wine for them in which Ziva only drank one glass. Hopefully, he didn't think she was a lightweight and would easily get drunk, ending up in his bed by the end of the night. He tried to tell jokes throughout their dinner, but she hardly laughed at any of them. He wasn't funny or cute or entertaining, or maybe it was just the fact that he wasn't Tony.

"Wow, who knew I would've ended up with such a good-looking patient," Dr. Smith smirked at her, taking a deep breath in.

Ziva tried not to roll her eyes, "Thank you, that's very sweet…" she replied in a stern voice. She glanced at her phone on the table to see if Tony had frantically texted or called her, but was disappointed when he didn't yet.

The waiter soon brought over their check and Ziva went to hand Dr. Smith money.

"Don't worry, pretty. Tonight's on me" he smirked and gave the waiter money.

"I'm fine paying for what I ordered…" Ziva said with an annoyed tone.

"No, no, no! I don't take out pretty women on dates and make them pay!"

"This is not-" she tried to answer his stupid remark, but he interrupted.

Dr. Smith got up from his seat, Ziva also. He put his coat on and spoke again, "So, what do you think about going back to my place for some more wine?"

"I need to go home," Ziva held her phone close, getting ready to call Tony to come get her.

"Alright…" Dr. Smith said as he and Ziva walked back to his car.

It was getting late and Tony kept looking at his phone. He hadn't got any calls from Ziva and he was getting worried. He hoped the guy hadn't got her drunk and planned on scoring with her. Hell, he'd kill the guy if he had to. Deciding maybe he would go wait at her apartment, Tony turned the TV off and grabbed his car keys.

The whole car ride home between Dr. Smith and Ziva was quiet. She was annoyed at how arrogant he was to ask one of his patients out on a date and she was even more annoyed at the fact that Tony was right.

When they arrived at Ziva's apartment complex, Ziva got out of the car quickly and tried to head up to her apartment. But, Dr. Smith insisted on following her up to make sure she got in okay.

They rode the elevator up in silence, Ziva still clinging onto her phone waiting to call Tony and tell him that she was home, safe and sound.

Approaching her door, Ziva unlocked it and opened it. She turned around and smiled shyly at Dr. Smith trying not to make him hate her, since he was her doctor afterall, "Thank you for dinner,"

Tony walked down Ziva's apartment hallway as he heard her talking and saw Dr. Smith standing inside her doorway. He stopped shortly, giving them a moment.

"You're very welcome, Ziva. I never thought I would take out such a pretty woman," he tried to say slyly, causing Ziva to get the urge to punch him.

"Again, you're very sweet-" she was interrupted as Dr. Smith grabbed her and kissed her.

Tony stood there, watching, completely shocked. Ziva had lied to him. She said it wasn't a date. Tony clenched his fists and backed away, getting quickly on the elevator again.

Ziva didn't move her mouth or any part of her body. She lifted her arms up and pushed Dr. Smith away from her with a heavy force.

"What- what was that for?!" he shouted at her.

"Why the fuck did you just kiss me?! You're my Doctor!" she exclaimed with a tone of disgust, "Yeah, actually not anymore!" she went to close the door.

"Look! I'm sorry!" he pushed the door open, "I just, I just thought maybe you were into me!"

"Into you?! You practically said this was going to be a quick meeting about setting up appointments and then you try and kiss me?!" she couldn't believe what was happening.

"I'm sorry, okay?! You said that guy wasn't your husband so, I figured you were down to get with me!" he felt sorry about pushing himself on her.

"He's not my husband….but I am in love with him." Ziva said quietly, "He doesn't have to be my husband for me to be in love with him"

Dr. Smith sighed, "I'm sorry. Let's just forget this ever happened?"

Ziva nodded and shut the door, locking it. She walked inside of her apartment, throwing her purse on the ground and sitting on the couch. She couldn't believe what just happened, she had to tell Tony. She grabbed her phone and dialed his number, listening to the multiple rings and no one answering.

Tony entered his apartment and threw his phone. He heard the crash and figured it had hopefully broke. He wanted nothing more than to punch a wall right now. Ziva, his Ziva had lied to him. She flat out told him that she wasn't going on a date with Dr. Smith, but there she was standing in her doorway kissing the guy. Not to mention, for the past couple of night he was cuddled in bed with her. He walked to his fridge and grabbed a beer. He was definitely going to drink this night away. He kept replaying the kiss between Dr. Smith and Ziva in his head, wondering if that kiss lead to anything more. The thought of Dr. Smith in Ziva's bed made him gag.

Ziva tried calling Tony's phone numerous times again, but still didn't get him to answer. She sighed, figuring that he had maybe fell asleep watching ESPN. She changed into some pajamas and crawled into bed. Checking her phone one more time and seeing no missed calls or texts, she shut the lights off and closed her eyes. She reached out into the bed in front of her, waiting to feel Tony's body there, but realized this night was different. This night, he wouldn't be in her bed, holding her till she fell asleep and felt safe. His missing presence caused her to feel afraid. Afraid of what the darkness in her apartment held and afraid of the nightmares of Somalia and his stabbing would overcome her eventually.


	13. Chapter 13

Ziva tied her sneakers and stood up, looking in the mirror. She had bags under her eyes from not sleeping well. The nightmares came again last night and not having Tony there to comfort her, took its toll. She grabbed her house key and phone, tucking it safely in the waist hem of her yoga pants. The green tank top she wore had a fitted sports bra in it and fit around her curves, tightly, showing them off.

She took the elevator down from her building and began her old routine of running. She decided she would run to Tony's apartment, even though it was a bit far. If they would be heading back to work, she needed to get her body back into kick ass shape and while she was at it, see why Tony didn't answer her phone calls.

It wasn't like him to not answer her calls. Any other time, he would be diving to reach the phone in time to answer or call back immediately if he didn't get to it in time. Maybe that's the reason why all of his girlfriends hated her, because he'd drop whatever he was doing (probably them) and answer her call. But, he never went this long without calling her back and that worried her.

She ran a bit faster than usual on the way to Tony's house, wondering whether or not he was okay. Was he really that pissed that she went out to dinner with that creep of a Doctor? _He seemed fine when he had left _, she thought to herself. A smile did grow on her face while she ran thinking of how excited he would be to hear her say he was right and that Dr. Smith was trying to get with her. He would probably never let her forget the moment either.

Within a half hour, she was at Tony's apartment complex and started to walk. She needed to cool down before she got to his door and he would yell about how she was supposed to relax after being at the hospital. She took her time getting into the building and going up the elevator. Casually wiping the sweat off her forehead, she held up her fist to knock on his door when she froze.

"Tony!" a woman's laugh echoed through the walls of his apartment and ricocheted through the surround apartments. Ziva held her fist up and listened to the woman's laughter, unable to process what was happening in this moment.

_I go to dinner with my doctor and he brings home a woman for the night…_ these thoughts sweeping through her mind as she carefully backed away from the door. She ran to the elevator, feeling drips of water run down from her eyes. As she entered the elevator, she walked to the back wall and slid down on the ground. Her face hit her palms and tears melted slowly down her face.

_I finally had him,_ she cried as she rode the elevator down. The doors opened and she stood up, beginning to jog again. Her pace quickened as she left his apartment complex and began taking off in the total opposite direction of her apartment. She wasn't noticing what she was doing, she just wanted to get away from Tony's as fast as possible.

Tony bent over to the ground, tickling the little baby beneath him.

"Alright, that's enough boys!" the baby's mother laughed as she picked him off the ground. "Thank you for watching him for a little bit, Tony!" she smiled.

"Hey! That's what neighbors are for, Sally!" he smiled, saying goodbye to the six month old little boy in front of him.

"It's a shame your girlfriend wasn't here to see how good you were with him," she laughed.

Tony's mind immediately thought of Ziva and how his neighbor thought they were dating since he had been spending all of his nights with her, he shrugged. "Yeah," his mind flashed to seeing her kiss Dr. Smith, "she would be amazed to see me get along with this little guy!" he laughed trying to hide the pain of wondering what Ziva was up to all night.

"I bet!" Sally laughed, "Alright. We'll get going!" she said opening up his door, "Thank you again, so much!" and with that she closed the door.

Tony frantically ran over to his couch, searching for his phone and where he had threw it. Pillows flew into the air along with cushions and half eaten chip bags. He searched through his couch and couldn't find his phone. Finally, he moved the couch from against the wall and found his phone on the ground, the battery out of it. Sighing that it wasn't broken and that battery had just fell out, he carefully placed it back in.

**12 Missed Calls – Ziva David**

"FUCK!" he yelled out and dialed her number.

Ziva ran with all the effort she could in between crying. Her heart was heavy and felt like it was going to explode with her mind. She thought things were becoming different with Tony and they were. He kissed her and told her he loved her the night he was stabbed and she said I love you back. He had rescued her once again in Paris while her heart was broken and her mind thought he was dead. He stayed by her side at the hospital, even cuddling in bed with her. And after that, he stayed the night at her apartment, in her bed, belong side her. But, things were becoming different.

_They were transitioning from best friends, who didn't want to admit how they felt to two people, who needed more than just friendship from each other. Two people, who craved each other's touch and lingered for each other's compassion and nurturing. Two people, who weren't content with anyone else based on the idea of each other. Two people, who needed the feeling back from the night they lay, pretending to make love, but without the sheet beneath separating them so they could finally be one._

Tire screeches and burnt rubber smell filled the air as Ziva was thinking and didn't pay attention to where she was running.

Tony set his phone on the table. Ziva didn't answer his return call and he looked into his kitchen, seeing all the beer bottles he had drank last night. He had hoped she was okay, twelve missed calls seemed like a lot for her. _Unless, she had her usual nightmares and that's why she called so much. Hell, she should be having nightmares if she slept with Dr. Dickhead_, he thought to himself and tried to call her again. No answer.

Getting up and walking to the kitchen, he grabbed all his beer bottles from the night before and put them into a bag. He would have to go to the store and return the bottle for money. He stared into the bag of beer bottles and sighed. It looked as if he had a party, but he didn't.

He just drank away the thoughts of the woman he loves being with another man. But, the more he drank, the more she was on his mind. Not to mention, he turned on the TV to find himself a movie to fall asleep and the only movie that was on featured Salma Hayek, her look alike.


	14. Chapter 14

Tires squealed and the smell of burnt rubber filled the air as Ziva heard someone yelling her name. She turned around slowly, realizing she had ran into the middle of the road, not even paying attention to oncoming traffic.

"ZIVA! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Ziva turned around to find her best friend Abby yelling out the window of her car. "GET IN MY CAR, NOW!"

Ziva sighed, looking around at the traffic built up from Abby slamming on her breaks, so she wouldn't run over Ziva. Car horns were blowing everywhere and Ziva went to the passenger side of Abby's car and got in. Abby started to drive away when she spoke again, "I COULD OF ALMOST KILLED YOU, ZIVA! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING RUNNING INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET?" Abby looked next to her at Ziva, "Ar-are you crying?" she had never seen the hard headed ninja break down before.

"It doesn't matter…" Ziva whispered, the tears still falling.

"Ziva? Are you crying because of what just happened? Oh my god, Ziva, I'm so sorry I almost hit you, but you can't just run-"

"It's not that, Abby." She sighed. It wasn't Abby's fault she had bolted out into the middle of the street because she was too busy thinking.

"Oh my god, Ziva. What's wrong?" Abby exclaimed, worried.

"It's a long story…" Ziva looked out the window as they sat at a traffic light. On the sidewalk, a couple walked hand in hand. The man turned and gave the woman he was with a small kiss and she smiled up at him. Ziva breathed in heavily.

"Okay, well… I can call Tony if you want to talk to him" Abby said trying to cheer her up.

"NO! Don't call him!" Ziva cried out.

"Wait…" Abby was no confused, "what happened with Tony? Don't tell me something happened with Tony because you two are my otp!" Abby yelled out and revved her engine.

"What? We're your otp?!" Ziva had no idea what she was talking about. Yeah, she had been in the U.S for eight years, but she still had trouble understanding what the hell most people were talking about.

"Yeah! My one true pairing!" She smiled at Ziva, trying to lighten the mood and teach her a new phrase.

Ziva stared at her friend trying not to laugh, "Abby, that won't be happening anytime soon," she looked down and grabbed the phone out of her yoga pants.

"Why not..?" Abby questioned, waiting patiently and controlling her emotions because these two could never get anything right.

Giving up, knowing Abby would keep pushing her, Ziva threw her hands up in defeat. "Cause I went over to Tony's apartment this morning and he had another woman there!" she shook her head, not wanting the tears to come again.

"Damnit, Tony" Abby muttered, "He loves you, Ziva. I know he does!" she was persistent, hoping Ziva would realize it.

"Yeah, he told me." Ziva quietly spoke before Abby

"HE DID?! WHAT?! WHEN WAS THIS?!"

"The night before I was supposed to leave for Israel, he took me out to dinner. We held hands for a second time, then he told me he loves me and then we kissed. While we were kissing, that's when he was stabbed," She started to cry again, remembering the moment and touching her lips with her finger.

"WHAT!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS? OH MY GOD! AND HELD HANDS A SECOND TIME?! WHEN WAS THE FIRST?!" Abby couldn't contain her excitement.

Ziva smiled through her tears at her reaction, "On our way home from the airport when we got back from Berlin. I was crying about Orli and my father. Tony reached out and grabbed my hand and our fingers intertwined…. and then the car hit us." She continued to cry.

"Oh my god, Ziva. You two are meant to be, I know it. I have a Gibb's gut about it." Abby smirked and nudged Ziva.

"If we are meant to be, it does not seem like it, Abby. Every time we try, something bad happens or someone else gets in our way," Ziva's mind flashed to Jeanne, Ray, EJ and the mess of significant others who stood in the way of her and Tony's relationship.

"Yeah, but you're fighting through it. You two make it through the storm, every time. The bad things and other people never stay…" Abby tried to make the situation sound better.

Ziva shrugged, "I just wish…he would stop flirting with other women," she sighed.

"That's Tony though, Ziva. He's always been the huge flirt. But, something changed when you came to NCIS." Abby stated.

"Nothing changed," Ziva rolled her eyes, not believing any of the words Abby was saying.

"Ohhhh yes, lots changed. Every time Tony is flirting with a woman, you walk into the room and suddenly he doesn't know how to think anymore. If one of his girlfriends like Jeanne or EJ was around and you walked into the room, all of his attention went from them to you. Why do you think all of his girlfriends have hated you and all of your boyfriends have hated him?" Abby giggled, hoping she realized how much Tony loved her.

"Abby that is ridiculous! None of his girlfriends hate me and not one of my boyfriend's hated Tony!" Ziva kept staring out the window, now annoyed.

"Ziva…PUH-LEASE!" Abby emphasized the word, "Even some of his is one night stands or long weekend fuck buddies absolutely knew he was wrapped around your finger. EJ couldn't deal with the fact that Tony would drop everything if you called or needed something. Yet, if he was with you and she called, he wouldn't answer. Jeanne, she saw the way that he looked at you, how you looked back. That's why she told him to tell you how he felt…" Abby arrived at Ziva's apartment complex and sat in the car, smiling at Ziva.

"Jeanne said that?" Ziva couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was she really that oblivious to his girlfriends and dates all these years?

"Yeah. Don't even get me started on your boyfriends hating Tony. CI Ray!" Abby joked and caught a smile from Ziva. "He completely hated Tony. He definitely knew that smile on your face wasn't because of him…it was because of Tony. AND! More importantly, the only person more excited than me about you rejecting Rays proposal… Tony."

Ziva shrugged again, "Do you want to come inside? Have a girls night?" she smiled, wiping the tears off her face.

"Ziva…." Abby smiled, "Of course!"

Both of them exited the car and went up to Zivas apartment. Ziva opened a bottle of wine and put some snacks on the table for her and Abby to eat.

"Are you ready to go back to work tomorrow?" Abby asked casually, taking a sip of her wine.

Ziva sighed thinking about seeing Tony, "I guess. I did miss everyone,"

"Me too! I miss spending every day will all of you!" Abby cheered, clinking her glass with Zivas.

For the rest of the night, the girls spent giggling over old times and dreaming of the future. Before it became too late, Abby left deciding that both of the women needed some rest before their return to work in the morning after spending five months unemployed.

Ziva crawled into bed, lifting the covers tightly, up over her. She closed her eyes and Tony's face flashed in front of her eyes. The words Abby had said that night, echoing in her ear. Did Tony really love her? Or was she just another charm to add to his bracelet? She had that phrase wrong, she giggled and thought she'd work on it. But, there was one problem. The only way she could could it right is if Tony was the one to correct her.

The next morning, Ziva woke up, showered and went to work. It felt weird arriving back to her old stomping grounds after five months and how much had happened in that time since. She was scared to see Tony, but she had to face the fear. As she rode the elevator up, Gibbs greeted her.

"Ziver, interrogation room. Now" He sternly voiced to her and led her to the interrogation room. She looked over to Tony's desk and noticed he wasn't there.

Gibbs opened the doors to the interrogation room and Ziva saw numerous police officers, waiting for her.

"Agent David, we would like to ask you a few questions about the two men who attacked you in the hospital morgue."


	15. Chapter 15

Ziva stepped into the interrogation room feeling all eyes land on her. She looked towards the corner of the room where she found Tony standing. Her eyes dropped to the ground as soon as they made eye contact with his.

"Miss David, have a seat" the one Officer spoke and she did as he said. He put down two pictures of the men on the interrogation table, "Do you know these men?"

"Yes," Ziva nodded.

"Did these men attack you in the morgue or did you attack them?" He questioned.

"They came after me… I defended myself when they told me I was next" she looked at the picture of the men, these moments haunting her.

"Next for what?" The Officer asked.

"Next to be killed..." Her eyes flickered up at Tony who was staring at her solemnly.

"Okay, so they attacked you, told you that you were next and what happened after that?" He picked up the pictures and put them back into a file.

"I shot them…" She looked down again from Tony's eyes.

"Okay, so you did shoot them. Then after you shot them, you took off and ran away to Paris? You do know that's a crime right?" He sternly looked at her.

"I….I wasn't thinking clearly a-at the time…" She felt the tears welling up in her eyes, she looked at Tony. She felt like she was drowning and the water was filling over her head now. She couldn't breathe, she was going to jail.

"We're getting her psych evaluated," Gibbs interrupted, "She thought she lost someone very dear to her. She wasn't thinking clearly. If this goes to court, she can plead for insanity."

"Whether this goes to court or not is not up to us Sir. We just needed to ask the questions. We're done for now," The Officer gave a hesitant look at Ziva and then headed out of the room.

Ziva stood up slowly, feeling like the world was spinning around her. She made a dash through the door and down the hallway. She kept going, getting into the elevator and riding it down to the parking garage before getting in her car. Running through every red light and stop light, she surprisingly made it home safe enough.

Once home, she took off her clothes and threw on her favorite pajama pants and hoodie, none other than her Ohio State one. She looked around at the crime scene tape in her apartment, letting out a few more sobs before finally going over to her couch and letting all the tears out she needed to.

Her sobs became so loud that she didn't even hear her apartment door open or notice anyone else's presence until she felt someone touch her leg.

Her head shot up quickly, tears streaming down her face. She tried to run away, but another hand grabbed her and pulled her back.

"Hey…. Shhhh, stop it" Tony whispered into her hair while pulling her into his chest.

"Go…..go…away" Ziva tried to fight against his embrace, but in the end sank into because she didn't have any energy left to fight him.

"You're not going to jail…." He whispered through her hair, close to her ear while the tears soaked through his shirt. "I won't let them take you away from me… I promise"

Ziva shuddered and balled up his shirt in her fist "Go away. You have a girlfriend…" she started to push him away again.

"Do I?" Tony chuckled and began running his hands through her hair "Tell me what her name is," he smiled into her hair.

"I don't know. She was there last night" She kept trying to push him, but feeling his hands through her hair made her calm down.

"Last night?" Tony stopped his movements and recalled Sally and her little boy being there "wait, but how did you-… my god, Ziva. She's my neighbor! I was watching her little boy for her while she went out to dinner with some guy!" He lifted her chin up to look at him.

"She is not my girlfriend. I'm pals with her little boy," he smiled at her.

"You are friends with a little boy?" Ziva questioned, curiously at him.

"Yupp. I told him all about you too, he wants to meet you now" he chuckled "and as far as flings go, I'm not the one who was kissing a dick headed doctor" He stared at her, waiting for a response.

"You….you saw that?" She bit her lip nervously and he nodded. "Tony… he kissed me. I've never shoved a Doctor so hard away in my life. You were right, Tony. He did want to get with me."

"I must be dreaming because Ziva Da-veed just told me that I was right" Tony smirked at her.

"You are not dreaming, Anthony" Ziva smiled back, the tears finally stopping.

"Good because if this was a dream, I wouldn't be able to do this" He leaned forward and captured her lips with his. His tongue sought to get entrance while she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer down to her. Their tongues caressed around each other and eventually Tony stopped himself from trying to go any further. He rested his forehead against hers, kissing her lips softly once more.

"I love you, sweetcheeks" His eyes opened to find her smiling at him, their foreheads still joined together.

"I love you too," she kissed his lips again.

"So, what do you say…we bring some of your things back to my place and have our first dinner together as a couple tonight?" he intertwined his fingers with hers.

"A couple?" Her eyebrows rose as the sudden use of the word.

"Yeah, I just figured that now it's clear that we're not seeing anyone else that… you know," he pulled his hand away and shrugged. His palms were sweaty now and he hadn't felt this nervous in years.

Ziva watched his body language and laughed.

"What?!" He looked at her quickly, rubbing his sweaty palms together.

"I think it is very cute that you are so nervous, Anthony" she chuckled deeply in her throat.

'I'm, I'm not nervous Zee-vah. Dinozzo men don't get nervous." He rubbed his palms over his face, trying to look away from her stare.

She smirked "Really? Okay then, just ask me."

"Ask you what?" He looked at her confused.

"Ask me to be your girlfriend then," She stared at him intently, "I am not quite sure of this couple you are talking about because I for one, am not anyone's girlfriend…" she chuckled again as he looked at her with wide eyes.

"Are we seriously going to do this?" He looked at her.

"If you want to be serious…" she stared him back.

Tony sighed, grabbing Ziva's hands and intertwining them again. His eyes found hers and he cleared his throat "Ziva… I love you. I want to take you out all the time, kiss you all the time and spend all my time with you. Will you be my girlfriend?"

Ziva smiled widely, the tears drying on her face "Yes, I will." She laughed again as he kissed her "All you had to do was ask," She stood up, running into her bedroom with him following her.

"I'll get you Dah-veed and you're little dog too!" He mimicked as he chased her into the bedroom.

"I do not have a dog!" She yelled back and he laughed to himself _Wizard of Oz, next movie night. _


	16. Chapter 16

"Tony! How many times have I told you to use a coaster when you set your drink down?" Ziva stood in the doorway, hands on her hips.

"Yes, darling" Tony murmured as he set his drink down on the coaster "COME ON!" He shouted at the Ohio State game on the TV.

It had been six months since Ziva had moved into Tony's apartment. Things were going great, for once. Ziva had been cleared for all the charges and the judge ordered her to attend rehab twice a week. She had agreed to the terms and was mentally doing well again which Tony was glad for.

"Give me a fucking break! The quarterback sucks! Christ, I could have won that game for them," Tony yelled once again while Ziva plopped down on the couch next to him.

"My love, it's just a game.." She tried to coax with him.

"Just a game? Zee, this could have been their big break! What an idiot!" He sighed, changing the channel.

Ziva placed her palms on his back and started to dig them into the muscles. A contented groan escaped from his mouth as he leaned back into her touch.

"Do you wish things had been different, Tony?" she suddenly asked, breaking the quietness that had evolved in the room.

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused.

"Do you wish that you had gone down a different highway? Maybe been the superstar of Ohio State who eventually ended up with the hot cheerleader?" she giggled, resuming her massaging minstrels on his back.

"Different path, Ziva. And no," He turned to face her, staring intently at her "I love everything how it is," he continued to stare at her.

She raised her eyebrows, staring back "What?"

"I just…." He stopped, still staring into her eyes intently with a grin appearing on his face.

Ziva pinched him frustrated, "Why are you staring, Dinozzo?!" He smiled at her, thoughts whirling around in his head. She pinched him again "Dinozzo! I will hurt you" she warned, a smirk on her face to let him know she wasn't being serious.

"Marry me," He blurted out.

"Wh-wha-what?" Ziva stopped her movements on his back, her mouth hanging open and her body froze.

"You heard me, David. Marry me," He stood up from the couch and faced her, waiting for an answer.

"Tony.. I-I simply asked you a question. Why are you-" she was cut off by him.

"Because Ziva! It all just made sense! I love the way everything is. I want to keep waking up and going to bed next to you! I want this forever," He pleaded, his eyes shining once she just kept staring up at him silently. His heart pounded in his chest and the overwhelming feeling of nausea crept up on him as soon as he realized she wasn't going to answer. His legs were about to turn around and run.

"Yes," She stood up.

"Yes….?" Tony's eyes rose from the ground to her as the moment set in, "Yes?" He saw her nod, tears streaming down her cheeks "YES!" His hands met her hips and he picked her up, spinning her around. Ziva giggled, crying happily. She wrapped her legs around his waist, their lips meeting in unison.

"I love you, Ziva David" Tony excitedly stated.

"I love you too, Anthony" she smiled, kissing him again.

He set her back down on the floor and clapped his hands, "Okay let's go!"

"Go? Where?" She laughed, watching him sprint through the apartment.

"City hall to get married?" He stopped in his tracks looking at her.

"MARRIED?" Ziva yelled out in shock.

"Yeah…." Tony quizzedly looked at her "Didn't you just agree to marry me?"

"I did, but I didn't… you want to get married…right now?" She couldn't feel herself breathe and felt like she was on the verge of having a panic attack.

"Yeah! Why not? I mean, we already talked about eloping because we both agreed we don't want rubber chicken" Ziva chuckled "so, why not go to city hall right now and make it official? I don't want to wait to make this commitment with you, Zi. I want to be your husband, right now."

Ziva stood there, her legs feeling like Jell-O. She bit down on her lip, that nervous habit that Tony always loved about her. He slowly walked up to her, brushing her hair back out of her face.

"I want to start forever with you, now" he smiled, kissing her temple "what do you say?"

She contemplated running out of the apartment, screaming at the top of her lungs in that moment. She really did. This was just completely out of the blue and all she wanted was to hear him say he liked this life at NCIS he had with her. But, he had completely shocked her as he was doing lately, by coming out of nowhere and wanting to get married. Yeah, she loved him, but perhaps this was going to quick. However, in her heart, deep somewhere in that organ full of regret and wasted opportunities, she knew that this man was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. The man that pushed the boundaries all these years, the man she wanted to kill, but kiss at the same time. The man that made her _whole_.

"Okay," she smiled and shrugged at him.

"Okay? Okay!" He kissed her lips once more, grabbing his coat and heading towards the door.

"Tony! First I have to do my hair and oh my god, my makeup!" She began to think of everything she needed to do because tonight, tonight was her wedding night.

"Baby!" He smiled as she cringed at the endearment, "You** are** beautiful. Your hair is curly, my favorite way that you wear it. You have some makeup on, but not a lot because you're beautiful enough you don't need it. You are beautiful, Ziva. I want to marry you _exactly_ the way you are right now" She shrugged as he talked "don't even get me started, Miss David, on how those jeans make your ass look, " he smirked receiving a dirty look.

She walked towards the door, grabbing her own coat in the process "You're always gonna be the same Anthony Dinozzo, aren't you?" She smirked, shaking her head as she opened the door.

"Yes and you love it," He smirked, playfully hitting her ass on the way out of the door.

Everyone in the apartment building could hear Anthony Dinozzo Jr. yell "WE'RE GETTING MARRIED! WOO!" and the giggling of Ziva David as they walked to their car.


	17. Chapter 17

"I can't believe we're doing this…" Ziva whispered as she stood in front of a judge, holdings hand from the dark haired man who stood across from her.

"Hey, you don't have to agree to do this, " Anthony Dinozzo started to say before he was interrupted.

"No, I want to do this. I'm just shocked at the fact that you do" she smirked before the Judge began to go through his routine of marrying couples at the court house.

The whole time the judge spoke, Ziva could feel her heart thumping through her chest. She felt like she could throw up at any moment because this, this was the rest of her life. She held onto Tony's hand a little tighter and he squeezed her palm to reassure her.

"Now, Anthony Dinozzo Jr, if you would like to say your vows please do that now" the Judge spoke.

Tony cleared his throat and began to talk, "I've never been the guy who wanted this, at all. I never wanted the same woman next to me for more than a week. I never liked the idea of being that cheesy, whipped boyfriend who would do anything for a woman just because, " He chuckled and noticed the scared look on Ziva's face, "But, all that changed as soon as this foreign woman walked into the NCIS headquarters nine years ago. God, I still remember the scent of your shea butter and coconut lotion when you walked by my desk. Then, you purred your name out and god, I was a mess right then. You had this look in your eyes, fierce and mysterious. I just remember wanting to know more about you, wanting to actually get to know you because within three seconds of standing in front of my desk, you drove me insane. You were the first woman to ever challenge me and somehow, in the beginning you never fell for my Dinozzo charm, " they both laughed, "I ended up getting to know you, we became closer and we spent so many nights together watching movies and just cuddling on the couch. Things went awry when you came back with Michael though and I was so jealous. God, all these years I could never stand the idea of another man holding you. I have been so deeply in love with you since you showed up, your brunette hair all wild and that tan bandana on your head. Still, every time I see you now my heart skips a beat like it's the first time we're meeting again. I'm so happy that you're standing here with me right now, Zee. You're beautiful. There's honestly no one else that's ever made me feel like this and you're the only woman who I ever want to spend the rest of my life with and have little ninja, Dinozzo's running around. I can't wait to begin our lives together, our forever… I promise to always keep you safe and happy. Without Ziva David, there is no Anthony Dinozzo." he smiled at her and looked back up at the judge.

Tears welled up in Ziva's eyes as the Judge nodded for her to begin her vows "In a million years, I could never of imagined standing here, waiting to be married. I was never going to get that option if I had stayed in Mossad. I am thankful that I came to D.C nine years ago to find my brother and instead, found you. No, I did not fall for you in the first moments of our meeting. I thought you were some disgusting, pig-headed playboy who had no plans of ever staying with a woman for 25/7"

"24/7, babe" Tony corrected her.

"24/7," Ziva murmured while rolling her eyes "and you always fix my English which drives me crazy, but adorable at the same time because it shows you care. You have always cared… you have always had my back and I cannot thank you enough for being my rock these past nine years. I do not know what my life would be like without you. You truly have saved me, from my past and everything that I had become because of it. I never pictured having a normal life where I would be so in love with a man that it actually hurt to be away from him. You saved me and you were my hero in Somalia, even when I had hated your guts and hoped you got hit by a bus" she laughed, "You are my hero and you will always be. I promise to return all the happiness and love you have given me these past years and show you that I can also be your hero, Anthony, if you let me" she smiled at him.

"Alright," the Judge began "If you have nothing else to say, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride" he clapped his hands together.

Tony grinned widely at Ziva, cupping her face in his hands and placing a passionate kiss on her lips. They both smiled into the kiss as their lips moved in unison at a promise at what would be forever, their forever. Soon enough, they pulled away figuring they could celebrate later and signed the marriage papers that the judge gave them before running out of the court house hand in hand.

Tony opened the door of his new red mustang for Ziva, kissing her hand as she got in "Mrs. Dinozzo," he smirked and shut the door, jogging around to the driver's side feeling like he just won the lottery.

"Baby! We did it!" He cheered as the mustang's engine roared and he grabbed onto her hand again, holding it tightly.

"We're married," Ziva smiled, tears in her eyes at how unbelievably happy she felt in this moment.

Tony leaned over before pulling away, sealing another kiss to her mouth "Now, let's go get some celebratory dinner milady"

Ziva rolled her eyes, "Food is always on your mind, Mr. Dinozzo"

"Well, not always" he raised his eyebrows suggestively at her.

"Pig," she hit him playfully.

"Ow!" Tony pretended to hurt as he drove down the road. "We've been married for five minutes are you're already beating me!"

Ziva giggled, looking out the passenger door mirror, seeing cans and confetti flying behind the car "Tony, we have garbage stuck to the car"

Tony laughed, "It's not garbage babe, it's our Just Married sign." He smiled at her confused look, "When couples get married, when they drive away there's always a sign on the car that says "Just Married" and there's confetti and cans to make noise. It's a celebration,"

Ziva kept staring at the mirror, smiling "I want pizza,"

"Christ, you are the love my life" Tony smiled, lifting her palm up to kiss it again.


End file.
